


Message In A Bottle

by jacksonsidiot



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2jae are Mark's best friends, Alternate Universe, Angst, Don't worry they don't die, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Happy Ending, He also fences, It's just a side character, Jackson is a college student, M/M, Mark owns a grocerystore, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, Smut, Top!Mark, Yugbam and Jinyoung are Jackson's best friends, bottom!Jackson, for the smut there is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2018-11-15 08:19:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11227023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacksonsidiot/pseuds/jacksonsidiot
Summary: ❝ It was beautifully wordedand painfully read;the things he had writtenhe never had said ❞Mark and Jackson fall in love, but just as things can't seem to get better, something horrible happens.





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How it all began. In which Jackson writes a message which he puts in a bottle.

_Dear whoever is reading this crap,_

_My name is Jackson. I'm currently fifteen years old and I live in Hong Kong. Although my life may seem glorious to outsiders, it's not at all. My parents and I fight every day. They tell me that I am acting strange and that I'm being defensive towards them, that I'm not the son they know._

_I know my behavior and I know what I'm doing, I'm not some dumb child. I'm not doing it on purpose though, it's just_ _my defense mechanism kicking in whenever they talk to me. I don't want them to know what's really going on with me and how I'm really feeling. I'm not the type to talk about my feelings and so I decide to write it down on this stupid piece of paper. I hope someone will read this crap and can give me some advice, because I know that what I'm doing right now to my parents is not okay. I shouldn't be treating them this way. I shouldn't be like this to them. I honestly don't deserve them, who wants to try to cope with a child like me who disagrees with everything?_

_Why do they even bother to still try? I question that a lot. I guess they still see a reason to do so._

_I know this might sound depressing to you and well and it is going to be if this doesn't change. I am being an absolute dick towards my parents, yelling at them every night and telling them nothing is wrong with me._

_The worst thing is, every time I do this I can see the tears in my mother's eyes. I avoid seeing her like that. I hate seeing her cry. Besides I don't want to break down myself r_ _ight then and there. So everytime I run upstairs._

_I don't want to be weak. I don't want my parents to see me cry. Because it will also mean that my defense mechanism has stopped working and broke down._

_When I get upstairs, I'll try to go to sleep but I actually spend hours thinking about this one thing. You might want to know what this thing is, otherwise you can't give me any advice. Well, here we go. This will be the first time that I'll be writing this down and confronting myself with this._ _And honestly I'm really scared to do this and to write this down will be a step forwards but I think I'm ready to face it._

_I think I'm gay._

_Yeah, that's what all this fuss is about. That's bullshit isn't it?_

_The fights with my parents has become a routine, we fight, I go upstairs and the next day when I come downstairs we all act like nothing happened._

_I am making such a fuss just because I doubt my sexuality. Yes, that's absolute bullshit, I know._

_Now you might also queation how this all started out. Well, I came across this guy and I eventually figured out I like him in a different way than my other friends. Later on it hit me I am not supposed to be that way._

_Right?_

_I am not supposed to be gay. I am not supposed to be like this. I should be living a normal teenage life, going out with my friends and discovering new places. Disobeying the rules like every teenager._

_But, instead, I'm here. Struggling with something that I'm not supposed to be struggling with. I've been neglecting my friends because of it and honestly they'll probably leave me sooner or later. They won't accept me when I turn out to be gay. Hell, I think even my parents won't accept me when I tell them. And what if I don't turn out to be gay? I struggled for nothing and I'll be left alone. No friends and my parents will hate me for acting this way. They will probably kick me out and disown me because I will be a disgrace to my family._

_I want to figure it out as quick as I can, but I can't. As much as I think about it and try to figure it out, it won't happen. The only thing I get from the thinking is a headache and bad grades._

_I can't concentrate in class anymore because that boy will be on my mind, or he will be in my class. He looks so beautiful, he dyed his hair a dark brown recently and damn he looks so good. I love his laugh. When he laughs, I always end up laughing too, even if I don't know what he's talking about. His eyes light up when he talks to his friends about something he loves. His body is well built and just a bit taller than me._

_It all just won't help._

_I tried to talk to him, but I can't get myself to do so. Normally, I'm a social butterfly and I can easily talk to someone I don't know. But with him it's a completely different. I can't look at him without blushing or smiling. After class, I will tell my brain to just walk up to him but instead I turn around and go the other way._

_But I shouldn't be like this right?_

_When I lay in my bed at night I can't do anything but to curse at myself for not going up to him. My mind shifts to what happened earlier, the yelling at my parents, and the regret overwhelms me. The pit of my stomach will feel heavy and I get chills from my head to my toes. The feeling will just sit there for hours. It won't go away no matter how hard I try. It keeps me awake for hours. I'll be up until 3 am thinking about how to explain it to them, or worst case scenario, making up excuses as to why I am acting this way. Without telling them the truth of course. Or I will be thinking if I'm actually gay or if this is just some phase._

_As a consquence of all these thoughts and not sleeping enough at night, I can't do my homework and that results in getting bad grades._

_My dad even told me if I keep getting bad grades I'm not allowed to go to fencing practice. My world broke down when he said that. Fencing is the only thing in my life at the moment that will keep my mind off everything. They are the only hours I won't think of it. The misery starts when I come back home again and all my thoughts hit me_ _as before I left for practice._

_I tried distracting myself from thinking about it. It won't help, the thoughts will take over my mind again. I can go from being happy to being sad faster than ever before._

_I seriously don't know what to do and I am so afraid of fucking everything up. I need help, I really do. If you are still reading this bullcrap, please give me some advice. I will attach my address at the bottom of this letter. I would give all my love to you if you can send me some advice to help me through this. Maybe after I've figured it out and everyone left me, you can be my only friend._

_Love,_

_Jackson Wang_

 

Jackson looks up from his letter as he re-reads it for the last time. Tears are streaming down his face. The warm tears hitting his cold cheeks. He rolls up the letter, making sure it would fit into the wine bottle. He closes the bottle off with a lid and duck taping it so it wouldn't open up.

He stands up from the sand he made himself comfortable in earlier and walks to the sea. The cold sea water touches his feet and he squirms, wanting to head back again, but he doesn't. He walks further into the sea until the water reaches his knees.

With all the power he still has in his body after being emotionally drained, he throws the bottle into the sea. He watches it fall in the sea a few meters ahead. It comes back up again and slowly drifts further away from him.

When Jackson can't see the bottle anymore he decides it's time to head back. He dries himself off and puts his shoes back on. When he heads home, all the can think about is how happy he will be when someone replies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed! Let me know what you think of it ♡


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark finds the bottle and decides to write back.

Mark had decided to go for a walk on the beach to escape the stress of his job. The grocery store he owns is closed today and there are some rapports and bills he has to work through but he honestly wasn't feeling it. He didn't want to dive in to the paperwork only to get a headache and even more stress he already has from his job. He loves his job really, but the paper work annoys him a lot. It almost disencourages him to even open the store. 

So here he is, walking on the beach. His bare feet touching the soft warm sand. He breathes in the fresh sea air and he feels himself relax in an instant. There aren't too many people, which he preferred. Don't get him wrong, he likes people, but not right now. He looks around him and he sees a couple of boats sail by. Two ships are quite small but there's also a big yacht sailing by.

Mark would like to have a boat himself someday. Mostly because he wonders how it feels to be free on the water like that. Also because it'd be really good to be able to say he owns a boat which he saved up for and finally had the money to buy. 

Mark isn't poor, yet he isn't rich. Yes, he has his own store but it's a small one and the costumers are mostly adults who want something special or good quality products. Most of his costumers are somewhat older. Mark has been thinking about a marketing plan to get younger people to his store and with that he means people under the age of thirty. 

He walks close to the sea and the water would touch his feet sometimes. He wind was blowing through his brown hair, messing it up. He is drowned in his thoughts about all the work he still had to do at home when he almost forgets how far away from the parking lot he has walked. Yet he decided to walk a little further. He is not in the mood to go home yet. All the paper work will be waiting for him on the kitchen table, basically mocking him by laying there. 

Mark is abruptly distracted from his thoughts when he sees something sparkling in the wet sand just a few meters ahead of him. The sparkling object glinstering at him, Sun light reflecting on it. Curiously he walks further away from his car and closer to the sparkle. When he reaches it, he sees a green glass wine bottle with something in it.

Mark couldn't exactly make up what it is but he could tell there was paper in the glass bottle. He picks it up and starts to examine the green bottle some more, turning it around and looking through from the bottom.

He twists and turns it around to see if he can see anything on the paper. The twisting and turning isn't helping so he decides to take it home and open it there. On the way back to his car he fantasies of what could possibly be in there. 

He walks all the way back to his car, gets in and drives home. During the drive his mind is occupied with what could possibly on the paper. He is so distracted by thinking about it, it almost causes him to ignore a couple of stop signs. 

While driving Mark feels like he is in some 90's movie where people would find messages in bottles and in the bottle there would be an important message for them. He gets all excited and really wants to know what's in that goddamn bottle.

Mark finally reaches home after a rather short drive but he feels like it took him ages to get home. He throws his jacket, keys and shoes to the side and walks into the living room.

His mood changes immediately when he sees all the papers scattered around on his kitchen table.

"Right.. Those papers." He mumbles to himself and he puts the bottle down on the edge of the table. He gathers all the papers and piles them up so there is enough room on the table. 'I will have time for that later.' he thinks. 

He picks up the bottle again and brings it to the kitchen. He grabs a sharp knife from his toolbox which he hides in his bottom kitchen drawer. He carefully cuts the duct tape and opens the lid. Like a vision shooting through him, he remembers he won't be able to get the letter out since it's rolled out against the inner glass. Which made he couldn't read what's on the paper earlier. 

Mark thinks about what would be the best option to get the paper out. He could get a pincet to get it out, shake it, or he could just recklessly throw it against the stone tiles outside. The last option seems the most fun to Mark and he walks outside. In front of his door he smashes the bottle on the steps which lead up to the front door. The glass clangs against the stone tiles. Mark almost worries his neighbours might wonder what the hell is going on but he doesn't care. The green glass has broken into a million little pieces and Mark crouches down to carefully pick up the letter between the little sharp shaped pieces.

He lifts up the paper and the green pieces fall down on the stone bricks. He goes back inside and reminds himself that he has to clean up the mess later.

The 23 year old boy sits in his favorite chair near the heater and starts to read the letter. He notices the outlines of the paper turned brown, so he assumes that the letter is either old or burned.

The brown haired boy reads through the letter carefully, taking in every sentence one by one. He gets emotional when he reads how desperate, angry and confused the fifteen year old boy is. It wells up the feeling of himself figuring out if he was gay. He can clearly remember it all and it's definitely not something he will forget.

Though for the older boy it wasn't so difficult. He grew up in an environment where everything was accepted, by his parents but also by his friends. He grew up in Los Angeles, America. He moved to Seoul after he graduated high school, his parents moved with him and they still work here.

When Mark finishes reading the letter he feels the tears rolling down the cheeks, rolling down to hit the piece of paper he is holding. He watches his tears fall down on the piece of paper, the ink fading a bit. He dries his tears with the end of his sleeve and looks up to his living room. He feels so sorry for the boy. A felling of empathy fills his stomach and thoughts. He can't believe how desperate and emotional the boy may feel right now.

Mark stands up and walks to the kitchen where he grabs a glass of water. He drinks it, his thoughts with the other boy. 'How could I possibly help him?' he thought.

He walks back to the kitchen table and sits down. He grabs a piece of paper and a pen. He starts writing a letter to Jackson, maybe it wasn't the best choice since he felt so emotional. But on the other hand, it might be a good choice since he can sincerely write advice from his heart. Mark loves to help people and he makes it his personal mission to help this boy out.

 

_Dear Jackson,_

_Congrats, your letter has arrived after some time. My name is Mark and I live in Seoul, I'm currently 23 years old. When I was walking on the beach today (9th of October 2016) I found your message. I felt so touched by your letter so I am writing you back._

_Let me start off by saying that I'm really happy that you found some sort of help. You've reached out to someone, whoever that someone may be. You took the risk of not getting an answer and I think you're very brave for taking that risk. The someone I am referring to is me, I am glad you have reached out. I think I'll be able to help you in some sort of way, so let's get right into it._

_I have read your letter carefully and I can relate. I am gay myself and I have struggled with my sexuality too, not in the same way you did, but I have struggled. Since you said you wanted some advice, I am going to give you some._

_Honestly, the first and the hardest step in this whole process is accepting that this is who you are. I know, that's tough. But really, when you get through it you'll be relieved. Now, you might be wondering how do I do this? It's hard, but I'll try to explain how I got through it._

_What I did to accept it, is finding people who have struggled/are struggling with the same thing as you. Now, how do you find these people? You can look online if there are any special meeting groups or café's where people of the LGBTQ+ community come. If you can talk to them you'll feel more relieved about your situation, since you'll know other people encounter the same problem aswell and you're not alone in this adventure called life._

_I highly encourage you to go to such a meeting or café because it has helped me a lot. If there aren't any of those then try to find people yourself. Or if you want to stay anonymous, search for an online form where they discuss these things._

_When you feel more relieved the time has come to accept yourself, you're born this way and you can't change that part about yourself. Whether you like it or not you shall have to accept this. It may sound harsh right now but really, that's how it is. Even if people want to change you or say it's not right, ignore them. Do not do it. It'll only hurt you. SInce you are already quite vulnerable you should not change for others. This might be the most important advice I can give you._ _**Don't let other people change you.** _

_After you've accepted yourself, which may take a while, depending on how fast you'll feel relieved and have found comfort with yourself, you may finally tell others. Start with the people closest to you, like your parents and closest friends. I'm sure that they won't hate you. Yes, they might not accept it immediately or they'll have to take their time to accept it, but trust me as long as you're confident in your story and in who you are then they'll accept you who you are. They'll see what you stand for and they'll see you're proud of who you are._

_For your sleeping problems I'd recommend to try some sleeping pills or another calming drug so you can sleep peacefully, or atleast fall asleep earlier. Try and empty your mind with mindfulness or meditation. I sound very weird right now, but search up some exercises online and try it. Maybe it'll work for you, it helped me a lot and still does._

_With that your grades may also raise again. You can try to focus on your school again, because it's really important to go to school and try your best for it._

_Honestly, I wish I could help you through this from more close by. I really wish I could, but since I'm not able to, I'll just do it this way. I'd like to be your guide through this process, that you'll have someone to fall back on. Yet, I can't._

_Jackson, listen to me, I know you're confused but believe me if you follow these steps for somewhat try to accept you as you then you'll be alright. I hope all these tips can help you a bit. If you feel the need to contact me again then I'll attach my address to the bottom of this letter._

_You can do this Jackson! I believe in you!_

_Believe in yourself too, you can do this!_

_Love,_

_Mark_

 

He looks up from the letter and re-reads it. Though it was quite an emotional letter, he is happy with it. He gets an envelope from his desk upstairs and he puts Jackson's address on it, double cheking it after writing it down. He also gets some international stamps after he looks up how many he needs for it to reach Hong Kong. 

Walking out of his house to the mailbox, Mark feels confident. He think the advice he has given the younger boy can actually help him. He stops in front of the mailbox, checking the address one last time before putting it in. Relieve and confidence washes over him once he walks back home. He hopes it'll arrive soon so Jackson can read his advice. He actually has no clue if it'll will arrive in Hong Kong, but he'll take the risk. Just like Jackson did by writing a stranger. 

When he gets home he cleans the mess from the shattered bottle. He looks at the clock and sees it's already 6:30pm, which meant it was dinner time. 'Oh right, I was supposed to meet my friends for dinner' he thinks. Mark leaves his house and heads to his friends.

About ten minutes later he arrives at his friends' house, he gets out of his car and walks to the front door. He rings the bell and his friend opens it.

 

"Hi Mark hyung come in." His friend Jaebum says.

 

Mark smiles and gets into the house. He takes off his shoes and jacket then proceeds to walk into the living room of Jaebum's and Youngjae's apartment. Jaebum walks to the kitchen to proceed his cooking and Youngjae greets the older and walks Mark over to the dinner table where he gets him something to drink.

 

"So how are my two favorite lovebirds?" Mark asks with a smirk on his face.

 

Youngjae starts to blush and puts Mark's drink in front of him. "We're good. How are you? Have you found someone yet?" Youngjae asks.

 

"I'm fine and no I haven't."

 

"Mark hyung, you can't marry your vegetables. When are you going to start looking for someone?" Youngjae whines.

 

"When I feel the need to or find someone Youngjae-ah, how many times do I have to repeat that?" Mark says slightly irritated.

 

Youngjae heard the slight irritation in Mark's voice and was taken aback by his reply, making him feel a bit uncomfortable. 'Mark never gets irritated this easily' he thought.

 

"Sorry Mark hyung I just want you to be happy." Youngjae sadly says. 

 

Mark walks up to Youngjae as he sees that he made the younger uncomfortable and embraces him in a hug. "I am happy Youngjae, I can't miss what I don't know."

 

"I know hyung but you deserve to have someone who makes you as happy as Jaebum hyung makes me."

 

"I hear my name, are you guys gossiping about me?" Jaebum yells.

 

"Oh yes, about how much we hate you!" Mark yells back.

 

"I swear to god, why am I friends with you guys?" Youngjae says and chuckles.

 

"I will find that someone someday Youngjae-ah, don't worry." He gave the younger another hug and sat down again.

 

Jaebum walks in with the food and puts it on the table. "I hope it's tasty." He says as he sits down next to Youngjae.

 

"I'm sure it'll be hyung, your food is the best." Youngjae says his mouth curved into a wide smile.

 

They start digging into the food and there is a comfortable silence. Mark's mind is filled with the letter he wrote. He decides to tell his two friends about it since he wants their opinions on it.

 

"Guys? I think I have to tell you something." He begins.

 

The other two look up from their food and continue to chew slowly, they nod confirming that he has their attention.

 

"This morning I went for a walk on the beach to escape the paperwork from the grocery store I still had to do. So, walked and walked and I saw a shiny object laying in the sand. When I reached it I saw it was a green glass wine bottle with a letter inside of it. I took it home and I opened the bottle. There was a letter inside of a young boy named Jackson, I read the letter and it made me quite emotional. That's also why I was acting slightly irritated earlier, I'm sorry for that Youngjae. It wasn't your fault, it was just me still being emotional."

 

"It's okay hyung I understand now." Youngjae replies. 

 

"What did you do with the letter?" Jaebum asked Mark intrigued by his story.

 

"Well, the boy is struggling with his sexuality and I think that's something all of us here can relate with. He was very desperate for advice so I wrote a letter back with some advice and I wrote him my experience a bit aswell."

 

"That's really good of you, hyung. I think you really helped the boy and he'll probably be really happy with your advice." Youngjae says.

 

"I hope so, I attached my address to the bottom of the letter, so he can always reach out if he needs to."

 

"That's nice of you. I hope he sends you a thank you." Jaebum replies.

 

"I don't expect him to. But honestly I just want him to figure it out. He sounded so stressed in the letter."

 

"What did the letter look like?" Youngjae responds.

 

"Well, it was a bit brown on the sides, so it's either old or burned for some reason. The rest of the letter had become a bit yellow."

 

"That's weird though."

 

"Yeah I know but nonetheless I wanted to send something back. Letting him know that his efforts weren't for nothing. Even it's really old, I think he'll hopefully read that somehow."

 

"I hope so too." Jaebum says and Youngjae nods in agreement.

 

They continue to eat and talk about a few standard things, work, studies etc.. Just the normal yet not boring things. After they finish eating, they all clean up and decide to watch a movie together.

 

Mark is chosen to pick a movie. He picks Superman and for some reason they all get very excited to watch it. They are gathered on the couch, popcorn, chips and drinks in front of them. The old film starts playing and they all become quiet as the intro plays. They may have seen this film before but they don't really care.

After two and a half hours of the movie Mark goes home. When he comes home he goes straight to bed, he has work tomorrow and doesn't even want to think about all the things he has to do the next day, especially the paper work. It'll be a long day and with the thoughts of all the events that happened in the back of his mind he drifts into a slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I just want to clarify I have written the most of this story already. I promise you it gets better, I wrote this at the end of last year, so forgive me. It does really get better, but as it's also a slow build story some things may take a little longer to actually start happening.
> 
> Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed. ♡♡♡


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson recieves Mark's response and Jinyoung just listens to the story.

Jackson had woken up and is currently sitting at his kitchen table, it is 6.30am and way too early for his liking. He had to go to his internship today, which he didn't quite mind but waking up at 6.00am wasn't his thing.

He'd rather go out with his friends to a party, which he is going to do tonight, if he could get Jinyoung to go too. Because he wasn't going to mom BamBam and Yugyeom.

Speaking of the devil, Jinyoung walks in to the living room and shared kitchen area. He is still in his nightwear and still looks very sleepy, rubbing his eyes with his hands as he makes his way to the kitchen to make breakfast.

The two boys had been living together for about three years now. Nothing was really weird to the two anymore, they both had people over before or walked in to each other when one of them was in the bathroom. 

They were comfortable with each other, to others they sometimes seem like a couple but they know that they're not. Though they didn't mind to be called a couple, it could sometimes get a bit awkward for the two best friends. 

"Morning." Jinyoung mumbled sleepily.

 

"Morning sleepy head." Jackson says and cluckles as he takes another bite of his breakfast, looking down at his phone scrolling through his Facebook.

 

Jackson eats some more and Jinyoung soon joins him for breakfast. Jackson knows how much Jinyoung likes to go through their day at the beginning of the day so he put his phone down and looks at the slightly younger.

 

"So why are you up early on this Friday morning?" Jackson asks.

 

"Well I go to something called college just like you."

 

"Fair enough, do you have to go to college until late?"

 

"Not really, I start at 8:00am and end at 3:00pm. What about you?"

 

"I start at 8:00am too but I finish at 5:00pm."

 

The younger nods at him.

 

"But Jinyoung-ah, I have to ask you something though."

 

"What's up?"

 

"About that party, it'd b-"

 

"Jackson I told you, I am not going!" the younger exclaimed.

 

"Come on, why not?" the older whined.

 

"I am not going to mom those two brats so you can get drunk, besides I have the early shift at work tomorrow and if it's up to you guys we'll be home at 5:00am."

 

"Please Jinyoung-ah, it's just a favor."

 

"No Jackson, I'm not doing it I swear." Jinyoung says a bit frustrated. He had explained to his best friend several times before that this night, he wasn't going to be with him, but the other just wouldn't leave it alone.

 

"You're so boring, my god."

 

"I'd rather be boring then irresponsible."

 

"Are you implying that I'm irresponsible?" Jackson responds slightly irritated by his comment. He's not irresponsible, he knows what he's doing and he stays with that statment as long as he has to, to prove to the other that he isn't irresponsible.

 

"Maybe who knows."

 

"Well, I'm not going to leave those two alone so I kind of have to go don't I?" Jackson doesn't know what has come up to him but he feels a bit angered now.

 

"True, listen. Although I won't be coming, know you can always call me okay?" He placed his hand on top of the other's hand. Jackson's sensitive to the other's touch so he calms down a bit and breaths out heavily.

 

"Yeah I know, but I just want you to have fun." Jackson whines. He just wants Jinyoung to let go once in a while. The younger is quite serious, more introvert and loves when everything is planned out. Jackson is the opposite of that, he likes spontaneous things and is very extravert. 

 

"I can have fun, but that's just not my way. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to shower." the Korean boy stands up and walks to the door.

 

"Wait Jinyoung-ah," a sudden guilt washes over the Hong Kong native. The Korean boy turns around when his name is called and look at the other questioning.

 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have turned mad."

 

"It's okay Jackson-ah." He said and actually meant it.

 

Sometimes they have these moments, they'd disagree with each other but at the end of the day they love each other. They're best friends they can't just hate each other because of a stupid little argument. The older walks up to the other and hugs him. He wraps his arms around the other and places his head in the crook of the younger boy's neck. "My priorities shouldn't be to force you to come to a party if you don't want to go. I do it unconsciously, I'm really sorry for that."

 

"Jackson-ah, stop it. It's okay really. We all have these moments sometimes. Whether it be forcing each other for the good or the bad." Jinyoung says, hugging him back tightly, his hand moving up and down his spine.

 

They let go of each other and Jackson moved back to his spot. He eats the last bit of his breakfast and then continues to go upstairs to pack his bag for his internship. The Chinese boy grabs his fencing gear and a towel, shower gel and shampoo and puts it in his bag.

 

"Jinyoung-ah, I'm off to my internship, see you tonight!" He yells to the other who is still in the shower.

 

"Bye Jacks, see you later!" The other yells back from the shower.

 

Jackson grabs his keys, puts on his shoes and grabs a jacket and walks off to the car. He puts his stuff in the seat next to him and drives off to the fencing school. The 22 year old male arrives about 15 minutes later at his dad's fencing school. Though his dad wasn't there, it felt like he was. He opens the doors and sees one of the employees sitting behind the front desk and he greets him. He walks to the dressing room and puts on his fencing gear.

 

Jackson loves to fence, he got it from his dad who's a fencing trainer. Jackson fences as long as he can remember and his dad inspired him to become a fencing trainer aswell. Jackson checks his phone and sees a message from Yugyeom.

 

From Yugyeomie~:

_**'Hyung, BamBam got sick so I have to take care of him. We won't be attending tonight. I'm sorry'**_

Jackson feels somewhat relieved that they're not going. This means he's not obligated to go and he can stay in with Jinyoung tonight. He loves to stay with him because he, together with Yugyeom and BamBam, are the only family he has close by. He decides to order some nice dinner for Jinyoung and himself tonight as an apology of this morning. He still feels quite bad about it though Jinyoung said that it was okay now. Honestly, he doesn't know what happened to him this morning. Something triggered him and he doesn't know what it was.

 

Although now he was thinking about it maybe it was because he said he was being irresponsible. Jackson likes to think he isn't, he loves his friends and family and he would do anything for them. Most of the times he'd place them before himself, making himself less important. Caring about their feelings more than his own and mostly caring about their happiness.

 

He gets up from his seat and puts his phone in his bag. His first class will start soon and he gets up to meet his fencing trainer. The two of them are very close because they teach almost every lesson together. To his surprise his fencing trainer wasn't here today. A nervous feeling hits him because this was the first time he had to teach a lesson alone if his fencing trainer wasn't going to show up. Jackson knows how to teach the different classes but the first time doing something like this just makes him very nervous, what if he fucks it up? He doesn't want to be seen as a bad teacher, nor does he want the children to tell their parents that their class was boring or they didn't learn anything.

 

He heard the sound coming from his phone meaning he received a text message. He quickly took his phone out and reads the message.

 

From: Trainer hyung

_**'Sorry Jackson-ah I can't be there today. You can do it! I left some notes in the cabinet as to which class can do what today. You can call me if you need to!'** _

 

Jackson sighs and types a quick reply. _**'I will read them. I'll let you know how it went.'**_

 

Jackson walks to the room where they teach and awaits for the first students to arrive. His first class where little children from the age of 5 to 7 years old. Jackson always thought they were very cute and that's why he wanted to be a teacher. He can combine his love for children and teens with his love and passion for fencing.

 

After a while the first children and their parents come in. He talks with a few parents about their children's progress and when exactly the first tournament is so they can come to watch their child. Not much later he starts the lesson and to his surprise it goes relatively well. The children listen to him carefully and he helps wherever he can. Though it's his first time his trainer's words helped him a lot.

 

The day passes by quickly and before he knows it, it's the end of the end of the day and he's cleaning up the room he used. With a content feeling he gives a last look to the room to check if everything is okay before leaving it and closing off the door. Jackson walks back to the dressing room and grabs his towel and shower gel before proceeding to the showers. In the shower he places his fencing clothes on the little bench next to the door. Thank god for employee showers, they're bigger and you can actually leave your stuff behind without worrying about it getting stolen. You can also leave your stuff behind without them getting completely soaked.

 

After 15 minutes he walks out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and his fencing gear in his hands. He heads back to his stuff and luckily there's no one else in the locker room. A little while later he walks out with his phone in his hand, he's checking his phone on messages and he spots one of his mom. His heart starts to beat a little faster as he clicks on the message to read it.

 

From: Mommy~

_**'Jackson, call me when you've eaten. I'd like to talk to you.'** _

 

Jackson stares at the message and a nervous feeling overloads him, his mom never messages him anything like that. He walks out of the building and towards his car, heading home and the whole way back home he can't think about anything else but his mom and the text he received moments before. Before he reaches his home he pulls over at a takeout restaurant and gets himself and Jinyoung something to eat. He orders and whilst he waits for the food to arrive at his table so he can take it home, he unlocks his phone and stares at the message. He didn't reply yet because he didn't know what to say to his mom. He touches his screen and his keyboard pops up, he waits a second before typing a reply. 

 

_**'I will, I hope you're okay xx'** _

 

He watches his screen nervously as he sees his mom typing a reply to him. 

 

_**'I am fine Jack, don't worry.'**  _

 

He reads the text and feels a bit relieved but can't actually believe his mom fully before he talks to her. Jackson's name is called through the speaker of the restaurant meaning his food is ready to be taken. He walks up to the counter and quickly pays for it before leaving to get into his car once again. Jackson can't wait any longer and calls his mom from the parking lot. He video calls his mom, arms resting on the steering wheel so his arms aren't aching.

 

"Jack? Are you okay? Have you eaten?" His mom pops up on the screen, she looks like she just got home from work.

 

"Mom! I'm okay, are you?" the Chinese male asks a hint of panic in his voice.

 

"I am fine, Jack. It's just," she sighs, "I got this letter, it was addressed to you and I recognized the stamp on it, it was send from Seoul. I don't think it's one of your friends, so I wanted to know if you knew anything about it."

 

"A letter for me? From Seoul to Hong Kong?"

 

"That's what it seems like."

 

"I don't know anything about a letter. Can you open it for me so I can read it?"

 

"Of course honey." His mom puts down her phone so she can open the envelope carefully. She grabs the letter from it and opens it up. She picks up the phone and turns the camera so it's now filming the letter.

 

"Can you read it?" she asks, trying to keep her phone still so her son can read the letter.

 

"Not really, everything is a bit blurry. I guess it's the internet connection. Can you read it to me?"

 

His mother hums and she picks up the letter and flips the camera again so it's facing her. She holds up the letter in front of her so she can read it, the paper covering a part of her face as she does. She starts to read the letter. Jackson listens and he gets more and more quiet and more emotional when he hears the voice of his mom reading the letter out loud. Her voice gets more and more heavy as she reads the letter. Voice stopping several times to take deep breaths before continuing to read the letter.  Jackson knows she's getting emotional aswell.

 

Several years after his coming out he decided his parents to tell about the letter he wrote. They were already emotional back then and they didn't even know what exactly was written in the letter, just the fact that their son wrote a letter which could fall into wrong hands and he could be used for it, was difficult for them. Eventually they got over it, but he'll never forget the moment when he looked them in the eyes after telling them, they looked disappointed but also relieved. They, to this day, don't know what's in the letter. Only Jackson and Mark now that, without the two of them realizing it.

 

Jackson hears the heavy voice of his mom through the speakers of his phone and that combined with the beautiful and helpful words of the boy named Mark were all a bit too much for Jackson. He felt tears creeping up in his eyes and he couldn't move his gaze from the phone screen. He sees his mother, tears streaming down her cheeks as she tries to carry on her reading for her son.

 

" _You can do this Jackson! I believe in you! Believe in yourself too, you can do this! Love,_ _Mark._ _"_

 

His mom looks puts the letter down and looks at Jackson, who she sees now, is also in tears.

 

"Mommy, please don't cry, it's okay." He tries to say soothingly but his voice cracks as tears still roll down his cheeks.

 

"Jackson.." Her voice breaking a little as she tries to stop crying.

 

"Yes mom?" His voice breaking a little too, as he wipes his tears away with the end of his sleeve.

 

"What exactly did you write in that letter?"

 

"Honestly, I forgot most of it. Something about how awful I was to you guys and that I didn't know what to do. That I felt helpless, I was basically screaming for help, asking for advice and not knowing what to do at the time."

 

"You should write this boy, Mark, a letter back. You should write him how you're now and you know thank him for his wonderful letter. And thank him from me too, although you don't need the help anymore, I am sure he has a wonderful personality."

 

"I will mommy, I will. Please stop crying now, I don't want to see you cry knowing I can't be there to comfort you and hold you in my arms."

 

"It's fine Jackson, these tears aren't all bad. Some are because I feel horrible that you went through that phase, but I'm also glad. I'm glad that someone actually got your letter and responded to it. Please do as I said."

 

"I will mommy, but please stop crying."

 

She wiped her tears away, trying not the ruin the make-up she is wearing and flashed him a quick smile. "I will, you too now okay?"

 

Jackson copies his mom's movements and they say goodbye to each other and agreeing that they should speak to each other again soon.

 

A little while later he reaches home. He opens the door and throws his stuff in the corner of the hallway before walking in to the living room. Jinyoung looks up to him as he walks in. The other sees him sitting on the couch with a book in his hand. A position the younger was often found in when he was free or bored. Jackson places the food in the kitchen table, the other walking up to him curiously, putting his book on the table before opening the plastic bags the food is packed in.

 

"It's to make up for this morning. I still felt guilty so I hope this is making it a bit better." Jackson says, his voice still a bit raw from the crying not too long ago.

 

"Jackson-ah, you didn't have to do this. I already told you this morning, it's fine."

 

"I know, but still." He looks down at his shoes and tries not to cry again. He wants to walk away but he can't seem to move his feet. The younger looked at the other and the saw there's something wrong with him. Jinyoung knows Jackson too well to know when something is wrong with him. Jackson used to try to cover it up, but when he notices Jinyoung noticed nonetheless he stopped trying to cover it up. In the beginning, Jinyoung used to seek glances at Jackson and not confront him about what was happening. Jinyoung learned through the years it is better for him to talk to Jackson about it because Jackson doesn't always easily come to him.

It looks like the other is going to cry and have a breakdown right then and there. So the Korean native swings an arm around the other's shoulder and without saying anything he brings the other to the couch, where they both sit down.

 

"Now tell me what's wrong. Our discussion this morning is clearly not the only thing that's bothering you."

 

The older wraps his arms around the younger's waits and puts his head in the crook of his neck. The younger is startled by the action but wraps his arms around the other nonetheless. He softly rocks them back and forth as he feels his shirt getting wet from the tears that Jackson's shedding. He rubs his hand up and down on the back of the other and looks at his worriedly. At this point he has no idea what it's about, but he just wants to calm down his friend so he can talk to him about what happened. They sit like that for quite a while before Jackson calms down a bit. He looks up at the other, his eyes red from crying but staying silent.

 

"Jackson-ah, please tell me what's wrong."

 

Jackson buries his face in the crook of his neck again and Jinyoung feels that the other is not ready just yet to talk about it, which doesn't happen often so he stays quiet.

 

Jackson sniffles a bit as he stops to cry. "Y-you know that letter I wrote a-a while back right? When I-I wasn't sure about my sexuality?"

 

"Yes, what about it?"

 

"My mom texted me saying she needed to talk to me. I called her as soon as I got the food and was back in the car again. I felt so scared that it was something really bad. She told me that she received a letter from Seoul, it was a response to my letter. The letter I wrote when I was 15 year old, broken and didn't know what to do with myself and how to comprehend with my feelings. Apparently someone named Mark found it on the beach nearby. He wrote about how I should believe in myself and he gave me some advice. Basically, he was being really nice. He told me he is gay aswell so he could give me actually some really good advice. Though he doesn't know I don't even need it anymore and that I'm actually 22 years old already."

 

Jinyoung hums in response, listening to the interesting story from his best friend. He knows how it is, too. He's bisexual and well, he has never dealt with so much confused feelings and thoughts as when he was going through puberty. Back then he didn't understood what was happening or why he was being like this. He thought it was just a phase but later on found out it wasn't just that but him getting to know himself.

 

"He was so nice. His words really soothed me and I don't even need them anymore. It felt like my inner 15 year old came back again for that moment and took all the comforting words in and I felt like I could finally be at peace, knowing someone responded to my letter."

 

Jackson looks up at his best friend. "Without me knowing there was always still a piece of me that wanted someone to respond to that letter. And now someone did, isn't that incredible?" Jackson smiles at the last sentence.

 

"It is indeed incredible. You should write him back, telling him how thankful you are."

 

"I will, my mom told me to do that aswell and honestly I'd love to write him back. He deserves a response after writing such an amazing and soothing letter."

 

Jackson dried his tears with his sleeve for the third time today and stands up. He feels the cold hitting his skin, but he smiles at Jinyoung.

 

"Shall we eat now?"

 

"Seems like a good idea. I'm starving."

 

"Me too."

 

Jinyoung stands up aswell and they stay in front of the television that night, enjoying each other's company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoyed once again, let me know what you think of it and kudos are also appreciated! 
> 
> Lots of love,  
> ~jacksonsidiot


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson and Mark plan their meet up and Mark feels a little insecure about it.

Jackson wakes up around 10.30am. When he opens his eyes he questions himself for a few seconds where exactly he is before he then realizes he is in his living room on the couch. He had been up until 3am because in his head he was trying to write a letter to Mark. But eventually he gave up because he couldn't find the right words. Nothing he thought of was good enough, the words didn't seem to be speaking his feelings and everything else was too basic. He gets up and walks to the kitchen table where a note catches his attention. He picks it up and reads it.

_'I'm off to work, I'll be back around 2pm.'_ It said.

Jackson sighed, mentally he was tired and he has a bit of a headache because of all the thinking he did last night. The Chinese boy decides that coffee would be the first step to waking up properly so he makes his way to the kitchen. He puts some coffee and water in the coffee machine and starts it and not too much later the machine starts running and the coffee starts to come out. Whilst the coffee machine is running he grabs a bowl, some cereal and milk. He puts the cereal and milk in the bowl, grabs a spoon and starts eating. After a few bites his coffee is done and he grabs it and sits down at the kitchen table.

In his mind he's still thinking about the words in Mark's letter and he still wonders what to write back. He doesn't know whether to completely spill all his feelings to the other guy or to keep it basic and just thank him.

The 22 year old is actually quite curious about the other boy. What would he look like? Will he even be who he says he is? What if he isn't who he says he is and ends up being catfished, or even worse pranked by one of his friends? Last night he had thought through all the possible scenarios. But honestly all of them are ridiculous and he questions himself why the hell he is being so paranoid about this simple letter. It's just a letter. Well, actually, it's _not_. It's a letter he _desired_ to have ever since he threw it in the sea. 

A letter that would contain some advice to his fifteen year old self and would comfort him while reading. That definitely happened, even though his situation isn't the same as years ago. The fact that he got a response, even though it's a few years too late, means a lot to the boy.

He sighs, all this thinking will give him an even worse headache. The blonde haired boy is glad that he has nowhere to go today, because honestly he can't focus on anything but the letter.

He finishes his breakfast and takes a shower. Throughout the whole time his mind is with the letter he got and what to write respond to such a caring letter. He tries not to think about it by listening to some music in the shower and singing along with it but he wonders off every single time. He finds himself snapping back to reality each time with his hands full of soap pressing against his body, his hair hanging infront of his eyes, mouth wide open, eyebrows knotted, the water running down his back and thighs. His eyes focussed on the water dripping down the white tiles of the shower wall.

He get an idea of what to write down for Mark and he wants to write it down as soon as possible. He silently prays for himself he knows what to write down when he gets to it. 

After he did his morning routine he gets a notebook and a pen. He sits down at the kitchen table and at that moment he has a black-out. He has no idea what to write down and even when he tries to think of all the things he just made up for some inspiration he can't seem to remember a single thing.

Jackson hears the door open and he looks up. Is Jinyoung home already? No, it can't be. He grabs his phone and looks at the time, 2.03pm. What? That can't be right, last time he checked when he got out of the shower it was 1pm. Jackson checks his phone to see if it's broken or anything but he doesn't find anything that seems to be wrong with the phone. Jinyoung must be home earlier than he thinks.

Jinyoung walks in, phone in his hand and looking at it. "Hey Jackson." He says looking up from his phone and then returns his attention to the screen.

Jackson is astonished, how did the time go so quickly? When Jinyoung doesn't get a reply from the boy who's sitting only a couple feet away from him, he looks up.

 

"Are you okay Jackson-ah?" Jackson looks at him puzzled. Jinyoung walks up to him, putting his phone in his pocket and waving his hand in front of the other boy's face.

 

Jackson blinks rapidly and looks the other in the eyes. "Oh, yeah, hi."

 

"Are you okay?" Jinyoung asks again.

 

"Yeah. I'm just.. Well I didn't really notice that it was 2pm already."

 

"I see." Jinyoung says and looks at the notebook that's laying in front of Jackson.

 

"Is it working out as you want it to?"

 

Jackson turns around. "Not really actually. I have no clue what to write down and what I want to tell and just everything is a bit fucked up in my head. I can't think of anything else yet I can't seem to write a good response to Mark's letter."

 

Jinyoung hums and takes the seat next to Jackson. "Want me to help you out?"

 

"Please, yes. I really can't do this alone."

 

Jinyoung moves the notebook and lays it in front of himself, looking through the scribbled notes Jackson put in there and all the words he had written down but later decided they weren't good enough so he scribbled all through them. Jinyoung turns the page so they can start fresh.

 

"Okay, so what exactly do you want to tell?"

 

"I honestly don't know. Like I don't want to pour my heart out because I don't know this person. But on the other hand I did it in my last letter."

 

"I see, then how about you just keep it simple and just thank him."

 

"I don't know about that. I don't want to seem all cold and you know just unfriendly to him."

 

"Okay so how about you just simply thank him now in this letter and ask him out for a cup of coffee as a sign of gratitude. If he says yes you can see how it goes from there. If he seems nice you can maybe tell how you truly feel or atleast a little bit of it. And if not you can just keep it simple."

 

"But won't that seem weird? Like I'm all interested in him, I don't know him. For all I know he is pranking me."

 

"Jackson, listen to me. Stop worrying, it's not going to help. You can worry about it now but you know how it's going to be until you are actually there."

 

"But what if I don't know what to say, or something like that and it'll turn awkward?"

 

"It won't. You're a social butterfly, you always know what to say and you're good in communicating with people. People always like you because you're energetic and talkative."

 

"I guess, you're right. I'm sorry. " He older boy sighs and looks down.

 

The other places a hand on his back and rubs it gently. "Don't say sorry. Of course it's tiring and it's overwhelming and emotional. It's okay to freak out and worry like this. Don't worry it's fine."

 

He looks up again. "Yeah, I guess so. Thanks for the help though."

 

"It's nothing. Now, do you want me to help with the letter?"

 

"Yes please."

 

"Okay, let's start." Jinyoung swings his arm around Jackson's shoulder. "Do you have any idea now what you want to write?"

 

"Well I want to thank him and ask him to drink coffee with me as a thank you."

 

"Okay so how about you just start easily. You say something like 'hey Mark' or do you want it more formal as in 'dear Mark hyung'?"

 

"More formal, I don't want to be impolite."

 

"Okay, so you start off with 'Dear Mark hyung,' what's next?"

 

The boys finish the letter about fourty-five minutes later. After Jackson grabs a stamp and writes Mark's address on the envelope. He brings it to the mailbox. On the way back he feels a bit anxious again and he dearly hopes that everything will turn out okay.

 

~*~

 

The next day Mark is working on some administration work for his store. There is lot of stuff that needs to be calculated and figured out. In the midst of his concentration he hears something coming through his mailbox.

His head jerks up and he is a bit annoyed, he lost his concentration because of the sound. He groans and furrows his brows. He looks down to get the focus back on his work. He doesn't want to go and look what it is, because this administration work has priority at this moment. He needs to get this finished today. He tells himself this a couple of times. His feeling is telling him to lookat what came through the mailbox but his head is telling him not to. Whatever fell through the mailbox won't just dissapear, it'll be there when he finishes.

 

After a couple of hours he is finished with all the work and he couldn't be happier. He puts everything away in his bag to take to work tomorrow. He remembers that something fell through his mailbox. He walks to the hall and looks at the envelope. He picks it up and looks at the hand writing, he doesn't recognize it. He walks back to the living room and sits down on the couch. He opens the envelope and folds the paper open.

 

' _Dear Mark hyung,_

_This is Jackson. I hope you didn't forget about me. I have to tell you some things, but before I do that I'd like to thank you. I'm very glad someone like you, who probably has a busy life took time to write a letter to the fifteen year old me._

_Now the things I'd like to tell you. At the moment I'm not fifteen anymore. I am twenty-two years old and I live in Seoul now too. I moved here a couple of years ago for my study. I'm going to college at the moment._

_It's a bit weird for me to get a letter as a response to a letter a wrote seven years ago. But nonetheless I'm really glad you took time to write me, that's also why I am writing you back._

_I have not much else to say other than thank you. I am very thankful that you wrote me and I want to thank you in person too, if you'd be up for that of course. So if you want to we could grab a coffee sometime?_

_I'd like to hear from you. I really hope you say who you are because I attached my number to the bottom of this letter, please contact me if you'd like to meet up._

_Love and thankful,_

_Jackson'_

 

Mark stares at the letter after reading it. It's all going a bit too fast for him. Does he want to meet Jackson? I mean, he thought he was a fifteen year old boy and now he turns out to be twenty two, only a year younger than himself. Mark is always been kind of scared of meeting new people and though he kind of had contact with Jackson already it still kind of scared him to think the younger would want to meet him.

 

The brown haired boy reads the letter again. He really doesn't know what to do now. Of course he wants to meet the boy, but something is holding him back. Mark grabs his phone from his pocket and rings Jaebum. Maybe he knows what to do. After a couple of rings the call gets answered.

 

"Mark hyung?" Jaebum answers.

 

"Yes, it's me."

 

"What's up, why are you calling?"

 

"Something really overwhelming just happened to me and honestly I don't know what to do."

 

"Quit being so vague hyung, what happened?" Jaebum says worriedly. He can't help but worry over him sometimes, he might be the oldest but there isn't much of a difference between their ages and Jaebum really cares about Mark. He knows Mark for quite a while and doesn't like it when he gets upset because that rarely happens. He knows Mark gets insecure sometimes and comes to him to find comfort. Jaebum is happy with that though, it shows him he really means something to the elder.

 

"You remember Jackson right?"

 

"The fifteen year old boy who you found a letter of?"

 

"Yes, that's him."

 

"What's up with him, did he write back?"

 

"He did." Mark says shakily. He is still seated on his couch with the letter in his hand, he looks at his hands and the letter and he can see the letter is shaking slightly. It all being because Mark is nervous himself and feels really overwhelmed by Jackson's sudden request and confession.

 

"What he wrote back oh my god Mark hyung that's amazing." Youngjae's voice interrupts.

 

"Wait, Jaebum-ah, am I on speaker?"

 

"Uhh, maybe?"

 

"Continue the story, what did he write hyung?" Youngjae says excitedly.

 

"Okay well, anyway. Apparently as we thought the letter I found is somewhat old. Seven years to be exact. Jackson is now 22 years old and apparently he lives in Seoul too now."

 

"Wah, really?" Jaebum says.

 

"Oh my, Mark hyung what if this turns out as a romantic love story just like those movies from last century." Youngjae exclaims.

 

"Youngjae, please this is not the time." Jaebum says.

 

"Thanks Jaebum-ah. Anyway, he wants to meet up and grab a coffee as a thank you. An-"

 

"I told you, this is really going to be one of these stories like in the movies."

 

"Youngjae, that's not going to happen. It's just a cup of coffee." Mark responds. Youngjae has some wild fantasy he thinks. It's not going to be like that, I mean it's just a cup of coffee. What's more innocent than that?

 

"He is kind of right, I got to admit Mark hyung."

 

"Yah! Why are you turning your back on me too now?"

 

"I'm just saying it sounds like it."

 

"Why am I friends with you two again?"

 

"Because you have nothing but your vegetables."

 

"Yah! That's not true. I have plenty of other things."

 

"Like what?" Jaebum snickers.

 

"Like.. Uhm, my fruits?"

 

The other two laugh loudly on the other side. "Really? Couldn't you come up with something else?" Jaebum says laughing.

 

Mark chuckles. "Enough guys, I'm serious. What do I do?"

 

"Just meet up with him. It seems like you need some other friends aswell and as you said it's just a cup of coffee. Nothing can go wrong." Youngjae says.

 

Mark sighs. Maybe Youngjae is right, he needs some friends besides these two.

 

"You're right. Okay, so something else. He attached his number, should I text him or call him or write a letter?"

 

"You don't have his current address right? So the last one is going to be pretty difficult. Just text him, it's easier than confronting yourself with his voice and you know getting yourself to call will be a whole barrier."

 

"I guess you're right. What should I tell him though?"

 

"Mark hyung why are you so nervous? Just be yourself and just text something like, 'hey it's Mark. I got your letter and would like to meet up.' Don't be too hard on yourself. Once you started a conversation, just go with the flow and if you want me to cover a shift for you than just tell me alright?" Jaebum says.

 

Mark rests his head on his hand. "Yeah, I know. Well, thanks for the advice. I'll get going."

 

"Good luck Mark hyung you can do it." Jaebum says calmly.

 

"And don't forget to tell us how it went!" Youngjae shouts.

 

"I won't Youngjae-ah. Bye Jaebum-ah, we'll talk later."

 

"Bye Mark hyung."

 

Mark hangs up the call and looks at his phone for a minute. He gathers all the courage he has and opens his message app. He adds a new message and types in Jackson's number. He checks it multiple times to make sure it's really his number. He clicks the message bar and his keyboard pops up. The 23 year old doesn't know what to write. He thinks of the phone call with Jaebum and decides to write the message he used as an example.

 

**_'Hey, it's Mark. I got your letter and I'd like to meet up.'_ **

 

Mark looks at the message he wrote, should he add an emoji? Or should he just leave it like this? He decides to leave it like this and sends it.

 

 

 

Jackson hears his phone ding. He is currently sitting on his bed, watching a TV show. He looks at his phone and sees an unknown number texted him. He clicks on the notification. He reads it and almost chokes on air when he sees who it is. His heart races and he's completely overwhelmed. 'Mark? He actually wants to get coffee?' He thinks. Jackson waits a couple of seconds for his heartbeat to calm down before replying.

 

**'** **_Hii Mark hyung! I'm glad you want to. When are you available?'_ **

 

****From: unknown

**_'How about tomorrow?'_ **

 

Jackson looks at the reply. He thinks tomorrow is a bit soon but his curiosity takes over and he actually really wants to know what Mark looks like. He is always excited to meet new people and since he had contact with Mark already it was nice to finally meet him in person. Jackson is excited to meet the one who fulfilled his desire of getting a response to his desperate letter.

 

**_'Sure! What time, and where?'_ **

 

From: Mark hyung

**_'12.00pm, at that café on near Han River?'_ **

 

**_'Okay, see you then!'_ **

 

Before Jackson realizes it the conversation died. He looks at the messages a couple times more before he notices Mark's profile picture. Should he take a look? I mean, there's nothing wrong with wanting to know what the older looks like right? Otherwise he can't find him tomorrow either. Jackson clicks on the profile picture and Mark's picture pops up.

 

Jackson looks at him, he is more handsome than he imagined him to be. Mark has brown hair and is wearing a black Nike Air sweater. He has two piercings in his right ear from what Jackson can see and he smiles lightly.

Jackson thinks the other is handsome and quite adorable too. He likes his looks that's for sure.

 

 

Mark on the other hand also got a bit curious on what the other looks like. He had also clicked on the profile picture and was honestly also stunned by the looks of the other male.

In Jackson's profile picture he has blonde hair and it sticks out underneath a light blue cap. He has two piercings in his left ear and is wearing a black jacket, with a black shirt underneath. He smiles cutely Mark thinks.

 

Both of the boys are a bit more excited to meet each other now they know what the other looks like. They can't wait for tomorrow to come and to meet each other in person. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I swear, it will get better soon! Let me know what you think of it.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always welcome :)
> 
> ~jacksonsidiot


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson and Mark meet for the first time.

The next day came quickly. Jaebum promised to take over Mark's shift at the grocery store and Youngjae would help Jaebum when he was done with his classes for the day. Mark starts his day at the grocery store around 7.30am. He is usually alone, sometimes Jaebum would be there too but he had morning classes today so he wasn't there. He starts the day of with putting the stands with fruit outside and he prepared the rest of the store to be presentable which included cleaning the floor, his least favorite thing to do.

 

After a short while the delivery man came, Mark thanked the man and put some things in the store. The remaining stuff he put away next to the counter or in the cold storage room. The store wasn't too big but it wasn't small either. Besides the usual fruit and vegetables he also sells salads and instant meals. Of course he also sells herbs and even self-made smoothies. All the foods were from around the world so he had all kinds of things in his stores to sell.

 

After cleaning the floor, Mark proceeded to prepare some instant meals. He took out the ones that were too old and he prepared the new ones and put them in the see-through fridge so the costumers could see them. In between preparing the meals he helps out some costumers. They are usually the people he sees often and since it was quite early he talks to them for a while. Some costumers he often sees, he really knows and feels connected to them. They would sometimes come into the store and Mark would just know something was wrong, he would ask them about it and even give them a cup of coffee. It made the costumers very happy and Mark was just glad to help them.

 

The people who came to the store were usually people from the age 35 and up but he also has some customers who are his age or younger. For example there were these two boys, a few years younger than him, Yugyeom and BamBam. The oldest of the two came here from Thailand and because Mark sells foreign fruits and vegetables they come here every once in a while to buy some Thai fruits. They would usually show up around 10am, when the store would still be quite placid.

 

All of the boys would talk for a short amount of time and Mark knows a lot about their history together. They have been coming at his store since BamBam moved here which was three years ago. The two younger boys still lived at Yugyeom's parents house, but they had plans on moving out when they both graduated from high school. Or, they would atleast work first and maybe one of them would go to college, but anyway they would find a way to be together and completely independent.

 

When Mark finishes the meals, he turns on the coffee machine and takes a cup of coffee, taking a little break. The thought of meeting Jackson would linger his mind, he was nervous to meet the other boy. He doesn't exactly know why but he feels some tightening feeling in his stomach which makes him feel nervous. He just sits there, coffee slwoly turning cold as time passes. He tries not to worry about the meeting too much, I mean it's just a casual meeting right? Just a cup of coffee and talking. Mark himself isn't much of a talker, he prefers to observe things and listening to what others have to say. This was especially the case when he met new people. When in a group of people, Mark would just sit there and look around, listening to a conversation that seems interesting and basically observing the people he was with. Sometimes he would laugh along and mostly people wouldn't mind, as long as they could tell their story and someone would be there to listen. When he was alone with someone knew it mostly just ended in awkward silences because Mark didn't know what to reply. This was also because he was afraid to say something wrong or to just fuck up with them in general. The fear of saying something wrong and hurting the other person's feelings always overtakes him when he meets new people. It's one of the reasons why he can't really meet new people well and only has a couple of close friends.

 

It's a weird thing. Mark wasn't ever nervous when he was in the store and had absolutely no problem in talking to costumers. Somewhere it was different. When you meet new people it's as if you're obligated to get to know the person and you can't just let your opinions out like it's nothing because you never know what battle the other person is fighting. Atleast that's how Mark thought it was, other people might disagree with this.

 

After drinking his cup of coffee, Yugyeom and BamBam walk into the store. He flashes the two a bright smile.

 

"Hi guys, back already?" Mark greets them happily.

 

"Of course hyung, we ran out of the fruits already. I prepared them for Yugyeom's parents and they absolutely loved it." BamBam says excitedly.

 

His boyfriend, Yugyeom, stands next to him, his hand on his boyfriend's lower back. He just flashes the other a smile.

 

"Well you know where they are so go ahead, take all you need. I'm glad your parents enjoy the fruit too."

 

"I was very glad aswell, first I thought they wouldn't be up to try foreign fruits but it turns out they were actually really curious about the fruits we brought home every time." Yugyeom responds.

 

"That's so good to hear. If you guys want to try, I got some dried fruits two days ago. I have some dried mango if you want to try that?"

 

"Sounds delicious hyung." BamBam says and Mark nods. He goes to the storage room to see where he had left the box of dried mango. Once he spots it he brings it back to the store and places it behind the counter onto a cabinet. He opens the box and puts on a glove. With a bit of force he gets some pieces out and because they were sugared they were quite sticky. Getting them out of the box was usually a bit of a fight because all the pieces stick together like glue. He handed the pieces over to the two boys who were behind the counter. Mark takes a piece himself and he watches the two munching on their pieces of sugared, dried mango.

 

"Wow, this is really good hyung. Is it sugared?" BamBam asks.

 

"Yes a little bit, that's why it was a bit hard to get them out of the box."

 

"I like it a lot, what about you Yug?"

 

"I like it too, shall we take some? Also for my parents they both got a sweet tooth so I think they'll like this."

 

"Great, I'll get you some of it." Mark says, he grabs a plastic box to put some of the dried mango in.

 

The other two boys stroll through the store and look around for other things they want to buy. Mark finishes putting some of the dried fruit in a plastic box, he weighs it and charges the price for the box. The others come back not much later with some fruits and he weighs and prices them aswell. The boys pay for the fruits and thank Mark for the delicious fruits, after they leave.

 

Mark makes an order for what he has to have in the store for the next couple of days and without him realizing it Jaebum walks in.

 

"Hey Mark hyung." The called boy jerks up and looks at his best friend. "You scared me there Jaebum-ah."

 

"Maybe that was the purpose." They hug each other and Jaebum puts away his stuff in the little office at the back of the store. 

 

"Oh shut it."

 

Jaebum chuckles but turns serious soon after, not wanting to disrespect the older. Although he knew the older was joking.

 

"What can I do?" Jaebum asks curiously.

 

"Well the rest of the day is quite simple, just make sure to make this order complete and send it to our traders so they know what to send us. Of course make sure to refill the store and to check if everything is still full enough. Also deposit the money we get once or twice, depending on how many customers we have. And that's about it I guess."

 

"Okay then, have fun on your date Mark hyung."

 

"Yah, it's not a date. We're only getting to know each other and drink a cup of coffee." Mark replied as he hit Jaebum's arm.

 

"Sounds like a date to me."

 

"You're way to influenced by Youngjae."

 

"He's my boyfriend after all I spend a lot of time with him."

 

"Just shush it."

 

Jaebum chuckled and Mark took his jacket from the staff area and left the store.

 

"Have fun Mark hyung." Jaebum shouted as Mark left the store.

 

"Bye Jaebum-ah." He shouted back and chuckled at his friend.

 

Mark makes a quick stop at home to change his outfit and style his hair a bit. He wears a skin colored t-shirt with turtleneck and puts a light pink sweater over it. He pairs it with some light blue jeans with some holes in it. To finish the look he wears a silver necklace and some rings. After he finishes he looks in the mirror satisfied. 'Time to head to the coffee store.' Mark thought.

 

The feeling in his stomach was back and it was very unsettling to him but he had no other choice then to live with it. He heads to the store and he couldn't think about anything else but not wanting to fuck up on their first meeting.

 

 

 

Jackson on the other hand had asked his trainer to have a day off and he decided to sleep in, not too long though. He wanted to have enough time to make himself presentable to Mark, for what reason he wanted to do that wasn't clear to himself either. But he just wanted to do it. He got up at 10.00am which was a reasonable time for him. Jinyoung had left for college but the older had told him all about the meeting yesterday. Jinyoung was happy for the older boy when he heard the news, he was glad that Jackson had sound excited.

 

Jackson prepared himself and doubted whether to put his hair up or down. He glanced to himself in the mirror and he laughed at his reflection. He had just taken a shower and his hair was all over the place and a towel was loosely hanging around his hips. He decided he would put his hair up for the day, because he felt like it. And also partially because he wanted to impress Mark. He makes his way to his room and opens his closet. He looks in to it and most of it is black clothes, something he wore quite often. His best friend would always mock him on how he only wore black clothes but he just simply felt comfortable in them. He grabbed some black jeans with pockets on the side and a simple black t-shirt. He throws them on together with some boxers and a black muscle top underneath. He grabs a cross shaped necklace and he paired his outfit with a black cap, some black boots and a silver watch. On his other wrist he puts a tiny silver bracelet. He puts cross shaped earrings in his ear and he puts a ring on the pink of his left hand. He wanted to put his hair up first but changed his mind once he saw a black cap, he owned plenty of them and it made him feel more like him. He also didn't really want to look like he put too much effort into meeting Mark.

 

Of course it was important but it wasn't a date or anything after all. He looks at his watch and sees that the time is 11.40am, which means he has to leave. He grabs a coat, his keys and his wallet and heads outside. He gets into his car and starts heading to the café the two had decided to meet.

 

 

Mark arrived a few minutes early. The café was full of people having lunch and having business meetings but Mark didn't really care about that. Mark looks for a spot where the two of them can sit. He spots a place next to the window. Perfect, Mark thinks, if anything gets awkward he can atleast look outside. He sits down at the spot, it's a small round table with two chairs opposite from each other. Mark looks out of the window and he sees Han River shining in the beautiful midday light, the water is sparkling and there are even a few people on there doing things like wakeboarding. A waiter walks up to him, to see if the boy is ready to order.

 

"Good afternoon sir, can I help you?"

 

Mark is shocked by the sudden voice and turns around, facing the waiter.

 

"I'm just waiting for someone, we'll order later if that's possible."

 

"Of course sir, let me know when you made up your mind."

 

The waiter walks off and Mark drifts into his thoughts again. He looks out of the window again, scanning the people on and along the river. He loves the sight of the River in the midday light, the sun was up high and shining down the beautiful river. The water looks even bluer than before and he loves seeing the sparkles on them. He used to come here a lot when he just arrived in Korea, to just relax and take his mind off of things. Nowadays he prefers to go to the beach instead. He loves it when the wind is blowing in his hair and when he can look around and watch all the boats go by.

 

Mark watches the people on the water from afar and watches them fall, succeed and getting up again. It's like life, he thinks. You fall, you get up again and you might succeed trying it again, and you'll go on until you finally succeed. A smile crept to his face as he watched the people, he would love to do that one time. Both of his friends didn't really like to do stuff like that so he usually just didn't do it because doing it alone wasn't fun. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Mark hopes Jackson would be someone who he could do that with.

 

Mark's thoughts wonder off to where Jackson is right now. The brown haired boy feels like he's been here for a while already. He looks at his watch, 12.05pm. Nothing happened on the way here right? Mark wonders. Jackson wouldn't have forgotten their appointment right? Mark sighs, he fixates his eyes on the door as he waits for someone to walk in. The nervous feeling is still taking over his stomach and it only gets worse when he thinks of all the possible things that could happen to the other boy.

 

A few minutes pass and finally someone walks in. Mark doesn't immediately recognizes the boy who walks in. He does look handsome, he's not going to deny that, but could it really be Jackson? Jackson walks into the café, he looks around and then spots a familiar face on a chair next to the window. The boy stares at him as Jackson approaches him.

 

"Hey, are you Mark?" He asks.

 

He boy is silent for a few seconds. He scans the other and then seems to have recognized the Chinese male.

 

"Yes, are you Jackson?"

 

"The one and only." He answers and laughs. They shake hands with each other. Jackson notices Mark has quite a strong hand grip for someone who looks quite lanky and small but he doesn't mind.

 

Mark laughs, "Have a seat."

 

Jackson takes off his coat and sits down opposite from Mark. Mark's nervous feeling is still there and he immediately turns quiet because he doesn't know what to say. Jackson notices this and starts the conversation instead.

 

"So, how are you?"

 

"I'm good, how are you?"

 

"I'm good aswell. Weird isn't it, to meet each other like this?"

 

"It is, I honestly wouldn't have expected it to turn out this way."

 

"Neither did I to be honest. I thought no one was going to find that letter anymore, but then you wrote me."

 

"Yeah, I did."

 

Jackson looks Mark in the eye, he notices how the other's eyes are a beautiful coffee color. Like a dark coffee color, the outer corner of his eye being darker than the rest of his eye color which was still a coffee color but just a bit less dark than the outer line of his eye. Jackson feels some kind of connection already, whether that was because the older knew about his past or because he seems very laid back and nice.

 

"I'm really happy you did Mark hyung. I want to thank you for doing so."

 

"It's fine, all I really wanted to do was help someone out." Mark said shyly.

 

Mark looks down a bit and fumbles with his fingers because he doesn't know what to say or do. Jackson chuckles and tries to lift the mood.

 

"So you know some things about me, how about you? Tell me about yourself."

 

Mark looks up to Jackson and sees how Jackson has put his elbow in the table and put his head in his hand, looking at Mark. Jackson listens carefully as Mark tells how he works at the grocery shop and owns the place there, how he lives alone, has two best friends named Jaebum and Youngjae and how he is originally from LA but moved here later on with his parents.

 

"Cool, that's why you're English in those letters was so on point, you're a native speaker."

 

"Yeah, it explains a lot doesn't it?"

 

"What would you like to drink?" Jackson asks, grabbing the menu from the holder it's in.

 

Jackson turns the menu so Mark can also clearly see what's on the menu. The older shuffling towards the other a bit so he can see it just a little bit better.

 

"I think I'd like an iced tea." He then finally says.

 

"Okay, great. I'll order then."

 

Jackson puts his hand up and the same waiter from before comes towards the table.

 

"Good afternoon sir, how can I help you two?"

 

"We'd like one iced tea and one iced Americano please."

 

"Coming up, anything else you'd like to order?"

 

"No, that was it thank you."

 

"Okay then, those will be coming up then."

 

Mark is glad Jackson took the order, it's not that he can't but he feels a bit awkward and still nervous from before so he would probably stumble over his words and embarrass himself, which is not something he wants to do in front of the other.

 

"Should I tell a bit more about myself?" Jackson asks, noticing the awkward silence between them.

 

"Sure go ahead."

 

"Okay well, so I'm originally from Hong Kong. But you probably guessed that already. I moved here because of my school and my internship. I major as a PE teacher but I have an internship at my father's fencing club. I love to fence, I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. My dad is a coach and has a few clubs around the world. He inspired me to be a coach. So that's why I moved here. I have three very close friends, their names are Jinyoung, Yugyeom and BamBam."

 

Mark's heart started to race. Yugyeom and BamBam as in the BamBam and Yugyeom who visit his store regularly? No, that can't be, right? But then, who else has the name BamBam is a city as Seoul? Probably no one. Mark starts to freak out a bit because of this sudden coincidence. Jackson just continues his story not noticing Mark's shocked look in his eyes.

 

"I live together with Jinyoung, he's my best friend. We have been living together for a couple of years now and we've really grown close over time. He's really nice and understands me well. He's the one who also encouraged me to write you back. He helped me writing my letter since I just didn't know what to say." Jackson rambles on some more about his life and Mark just couldn't really concentrate on the story that the other was telling because of the names he heard the other say.

 

"Mark?"

 

"Mark hyung?" Jackson waves his hands in front of Mark's eyes.

 

"Huh, yeah sorry what were you saying?"

 

"I was asking you if you like cheese."

 

'Wait, what how did he change the topic to cheese? He was talking about his friend just a little while ago.' Mark thought.

 

"Oh, uhm, yes I do." Mark said confused. "Can I ask you something though?"

 

"Yes go ahead, what do you want to ask?"

 

Mark was doubting if he should ask how he knew Yugyeom and BamBam. He was curious if the story he knows about them corresponds with the story Jackson will tell him, but at the same time he didn't want Jackson to freak out. Before Mark could ask anything, the waiter came with their drinks.

 

"An iced tea for you, and an iced Americano for you. Have a lovely afternoon."

 

"Thank you." They both responded.

 

Mark took a sip of his drink and so did Jackson. Jackson looked at the other intrigued, he was curious what the other wanted to ask. Jackson noticed already that Mark wasn't really a talker but maybe that will come along the way he thought.

 

"So what is it you wanted to ask?"

 

"You said you had two friends, Yugyeom and BamBam right?"

 

"Yes, what about them?"

 

"Well, two people who visit the store very often are also called Yugyeom and BamBam, could it be that they're the same people?"

 

"Could be, to be honest. Wait, I have some photos of them together, maybe you'll recognize them."

 

Mark nods and Jackson pulls out his phone. He unlocks it and goes to BamBam's Instagram. He scrolls down a bit until he finds a recent photo of the two together, which was quite easy since he posted a lot of pictures of them together.

 

He clicks on the recent photo and shows it to Mark. "Here, this is them."

 

Mark's eyes widen and soon after he lets out a chuckle. "Yeah, those two come to my store very often." He says.

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah, they come to buy Thai fruits mostly. Small world isn't it?"

 

"Indeed, that's so weird. As if this was all planned out."

 

"I know right, really odd."

 

Mark grows a bit more comfortable and the nervous and awkward feeling lessens. Now he knows Jackson probably doesn't mean any bad because he is friends with two of his costumers. He has known them for three years and he trusts them. They are the only thing Mark has being close to friends as it can possibly get. Of course he has Youngjae and Jaebum, but besides them he has no one. 

 

A while later, their drinks are finishes and the two decide to part ways again. Jackson pays for the drinks as he had promised and they stand up. They both grab their coats and put them on. The awkward tension grows again as both don't really know what to do to say goodbye. They walk out of the store silently and wait in front of it.

 

"Well, I guess I see you another time." Jackson says, facing Mark.

 

"Yeah who knows?"

 

"Thanks for the nice afternoon though and thanks again for writing me."

 

"It's okay Jackson. I'll see you around." Mark says and bows his head slightly before walking off.

 

"See you around." Jackson says and heads off too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you all enjoyed! 
> 
> Leave kudos and comments if you want to and let me know what you think of this <3
> 
> ~jacksonsidiot


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened after they met

Jackson and Mark walk off in opposite direction of each other. Mark going left and Jackson going right. Both of them having a smile on their face, they had a pleasant conversation and they're both happy that they talked. Jackson looks at his watch, the time 3:45pm, which means he still had quite some time left before dinner and his fencing practice. He decides to stop by Yugyeom's house to see if one of the boys or maybe both of them are at home, since until his practice he has nothing to do.

 

Mark goes back to the grocery store to check how things are with Jaebum. He assumes Youngjae probably would there aswell now. Mark hopes the store is doing well and the two boys are actually working and not making out behind the counter. He walked in on them once doing that. Mark had forgotten his keys so he had to stop by the store again, when he walked in he saw the two in the middle of a make out session. Of course the two were embarrassed, and Mark had scolded them both after doing so. He walks in and is greeted by a smiling Youngjae standing behind the counter. Mark sighs of relieve, no make out session behind the counter. 

 

"Hyung, you're here!" Youngjae says gleefully.

 

"Hi Youngjae-ah."

 

The younger gets away from his place behind the counter and walks up to the older. He pulls him in for a hug and Mark gladly accepts it. After a few seconds they pull away. "How was your 'meeting' with Jackson?" Youngjae asks, making airquotes with his fingers for the word meeting.

 

"Youngjae-ah, it was just coffee. And it went well, he's nice."

 

"How nice is nice exactly?" Jaebum says as he walks up to them.

 

"Where did you come from?" Mark asks. He is shocked Jaebum just popped out of nowhere. 

 

"I was just in your office to make the order as you told me to. But you didn't answer my question." He says with a smirk on his face.

 

"He's just nice okay? Like friendly. He's very loud though, I have to admit."

 

"I bet that in bed he's no different."

 

"Jaebum! There are kids here, stop that!" Mark exclaims pointing to Youngjae.

 

Jaebum wraps his arm around Youngjae's waist. "It's okay, he's not that innocent anymore."

 

"I don't want to know about you guys' sex life thanks."

 

"It's a bit late for that now, isn't it."

 

"Just don't mention it next time."

 

Jaebum chuckles. "I won't, I get it's uncomfortable if you have none."

 

"Yah! Jaebum-ah stop that!" Mark tries to protest but he knows his attempt to let Jaebum shut up failed as he had nothing to say as a comeback. All this time Youngjae just stands there, smiling lightly as he watches his two hyungs. He enjoys the warmth of Jaebum's hand on his waist and leans in lightly to lay his head on the elder's shoulder. Jaebum looks down at him, giving him a peck on his forehead before focussing on Mark again.

 

"Okay anyw-" Mark tries to continue, not wanting to continue the discussion with Jaebum.

 

"Hyung, you didn't even tell the full story yet, please continue." Youngjae whines tugging on the older's sweater.

 

"There's nothing more to tell Youngjae-ah. It wasn't that special, we just drank coffee and talked."

 

"Talked about what?"

 

"Just ourselves, we were just getting to know each other."

 

"So when's your next date?" Jaebum says trying to strike up the discussion again.

 

"Jaebum! There will be no next date!"

 

"Ahw, is the poor boy not good looking enough?"

 

"I never said that."

 

"So he's not ugly?"

 

"I don't want to comment on that."

 

"Hyung, please. You haven't even showed us a picture of him before, we can't judge it ourselves. How else are we supposed to know if he'd be a good match for you."

 

"Yah! Stop all of this." Mark slapped Jaebum's arm playfully but Jaebum knows there is some kind of seriousness behind his slap.

 

"Ouch, why did you do that?" Jaebum says rubbing his arms lightly but placing his arm back around Youngjae's waist after.

 

"You're crossing a line."

 

Youngjae joins the conversation aswell, "come on hyung, just one picture and then we'll shut up." Mark sighs, getting his phone from his pocket and opening the messaging app he's been texting Jackson with. He opens his profile and clicks on the profile picture, once it's loaded he turns his phone around and holds it in front of Jaebum's and Youngjae's face.

 

"Hyung, he's totally a match for you. He's so handsome, you two would totally be one of those super good looking couples."

 

"Thank you Youngjae-ah, but that's not going to happen."

 

Before Youngjae can continue to argue with Mark, a costumer walks in. And not just any costumer, but Yugyeom and BamBam. Mark stares at them wide eyed, he did not expect to see them again this soon. Mark feels the pit of his stomach drop as a heavy feeling settles there, he feels uncomfortable. He momentarily forgot that Jackson and him talked about the two and doesn't know what to do. He just decides to do what he always does when he's uncomfortable, walk away and get even more silent than he usually is. Mark quickly walks to the back of the store to his office. The others stare at him as he walks off, all with a puzzled look on their faces. Jaebum decides to help the two boys and removes his hand from Youngjae's side and walks up to them.

 

"Hello boys, how can I help you?" He asks with a smile on his face.

 

"Hello, this morning we bought some dried and sugared mango and we were wondering if we could have some more?" Yugyeom says.

 

"Yeah sure, let me grab it for you." Jaebum says and walks off to the stock room. Youngjae walks back to the counter as some other costumers walk in aswell. He will continue the talk later. Atleast, that's what he hopes for as he wants to know every single detail of the date his hyung just had.

 

Mark on the other hand was still in the office, not wanting to face the other boys. They probably don't even know that he met up with Jackson, but Mark doesn't want to take any risks. He's afraid that he'll make it awkward and he doesn't want that. It's too soon for a confrontation with them. He still has to process his meeting with Jackson. The brown haired boy can barely believe he met the blonde haired boy. He was loud, but nice. It catched Mark off guard first, but he quickly got used to it. The Chinese male talked a lot but Mark didn't mind it one bit he loved listening to others. The heavy weight was still in his stomach as he tries to calm himself down a little. Mark listens if he can hear voices but it was quiet. He sits down on the chair in his office and takes a deep breath. He puts his hands on his knees and cups his face with his hands. He looks around the office and his eyes land on a stack of paper that still has to be taken care off. He could do it tomorrow, but he needs something to get his mind off of everything. He grabs the stack of paper and a pen and starts working through the paper.

 

After a while Jaebum walks in. Mark is shocked once again as he was fully concentrating on the papers he was trying to organize. It actually helped and it got his mind of of his meeting with Jackson. He didn't want to deal with his feelings and thoughts now. There were many things he could do instead and many things that should be done first. But he got pulled out of that concentration when Jaebum had walked in.

 

"Are you okay? You seemed a bit weirded out when those boys came walking in."

 

"It's nothing."

 

"Don't lie to me, tell me what's up." Jaebum says firmly. He knows he was teasing the other ealier, but he can see and notice when Mark is really upset or sad. He just knows him like that he needs to know what is going on so he can help the other boy.

 

"Well they're regular customers. But I found out today that they're Jackson's friends. It was just all a bit too much to process all at once." Mark says. He decides to not argue with Jaebum because he knows his best friend knows when something is up with him. The other can also notice when Mark is lying and he just knows it won't be any good to hide anything from Jaebum because he will find out anyway.

 

"I understand, it's okay." Jaebum places a hand on Mark's back and rubs it softly.

 

Mark always needs some time to process new things like this. It's a change and he didn't mind them but does need some time to adjust to them. Mark has always been a bit uneasy when adjusting to new situations, when he first came here it was a problem too. Luckily he had his parents back then who had supported him and had encouraged him when he needed it. Mark didn't like new situations because it's basically stepping out of his comfortzone and that's something he finds difficult.

 

"I'll leave you alone now, if you need anything you can ask me okay?"

 

"Yes of course, thanks Jaebum-ah."

 

"It's nothing Mark hyung."

 

Jaebum walks away to his boyfriend and explains to him what's up with Mark. The younger understands and they continue their work as promised. Youngjae also no longer want to push Mark in to telling him what happened on the date with Jackson. He was still curious but he loved Mark too much to push him for answers. Maybe he could ask later.

 

~*~

 

Jackson arrives at his apartment. He went by Yugyeom's house but neither of the boys were home, they were probably at school or somewhere else so he decided to contact them later on. Jackson sits down on his couch and grabs his phone, checking all his social media. Suddenly a face time request pops up, from his mom. He accepts it, wondering why she's calling.

 

"Mommy! Why did you call?"

 

"Jackson! I just called because I remembered you said something about meeting Mark?" 'Oh right.' Jackson thinks, he messaged his mom after he talked to Mark to set a date for their meeting.

 

"Yes, that's right! I met him today indeed."

 

"How did it go?"

 

"He's really nice, he's quiet but I guess that might be his charm. He told me about his life and how he works at a grocery store and has two best friends. And apparently BamBam and Yugyeom go to his store a lot for foreign fruits and stuff like that."

 

"Oh really? What a coincidence!"

 

After 25 minutes of talking to his mom, Jackson hangs up and goes back to playing on his phone for a while. Not long after Jinyoung comes home, bags with food from the supermarket in his hands. Jackson gets up and helps him to move the stuff to the kitchen so he can put everything away. Jinyoung joins him with putting away the stuff and it was silent between the two of them. No words, just putting the groceries away. Jinyoung and Jackson always had this kind of friendship where you didn't always have to talk to each other. They know each other inside out and they mostly trust each other to tell when something is wrong. So, like now, it is quiet but neither of them mind. Sometimes it's just like that.

 

Jinyoung wants to start about how the meeting with Mark went but he feels like Jackson should tell him himself instead of the younger completely interrogating the other. He feels like it's Jackson's call to tell him about it. Of course he is curious about that Mark guy but he doesn't want to force himself on Jinyoung. After they put everything away, they both head towards the couch, taking a seat on it. Jinyoung pulls out his phone to check his messages while Jackson is in deep thought about how to start telling about the meeting he had today. Jinyoung had noticed his facial expression and his curiosity increases. 'Would it have anything to do with that Mark boy?' he asks himself. When Jinyoung is done he can't hold it anymore and asks the boy himself, his curiosity takes over for a moment because he wants to know about the new friend his best friend made.

 

"So, when exactly were you going to tell me?"

 

"Right now."

 

Jinyoung turns himself to Jackson and stares at the boy, waiting for him to begin his story. His elbow on the top of the back of the couch. His head resting in his hand, all his attention on the boy. And so Jackson started to talk, slowly but steadily. He shifts on the couch so he could look Jinyoung in the eye as he talks to the boy.

 

"Well so I walked in and he sat there. I greeted him and he needed some time to recognize me but he greeted me soon after. I sat down and we ordered, we talked about our lives and just getting to know each other. He seems really nice, he's a bit quiet and somehow reminded me of you a bit. He also has a very laidback and calming aura, I like that. He talked when he needed too, but it wasn't too much nor too little." Jackson starts off slowly but somehow got really excited and started talking faster.

 

"It seems like they're will be a friendship coming from this."

 

Jackson sighs, looking around the room. "I guess we'll see for now we only just met and I don't even know what he thinks off me."

 

"Oh come on Jackson, it's you. Everyone who meets you is positive of you, you have a chatty and very friendly aura. I bet this is no different. Give it some time, maybe he'll contact you in the future again and if not, you can always ask him. If he's a bit like me like you said he'll probably need some time to process everything, as we both know you can also be a bit overwhelming."

 

"I know, I just hope to have made a new friend because he seems so nice, gentle and laidback."

 

"Calm down Jacks, don't be so insecure I'm sure you guys will be fine. Besides you just got to know him and it's just a friend not an intimate relationship, please calm down a bit and don't stress it so much already. I know you think it's important to you that people think you're a good person but they should find that out themselves and you shouldn't force yourself too much on them, it might make some uncomfortable."

 

"Jinyoungie, you sound like you're giving relationship advice."

 

"That's what it feels like."

 

"I was just kidding, I know how to handle this. I'll just let him be for a while."

 

"Good, now let's make dinner."

 

"Sounds like a plan."

 

After dinner Jackson goes to fencing practice. He is currently practicing for the upcoming winter competition, starting the end of November. Jackson is determined to win first place and gives everything during practices, he usually stays till after practice is over until he is satisfied with himself. Which he was never fully because he feels like he can always do better. Around 10.30pm he decides to call it a day and went home. When he gets home it is 11.25pm and he is dead tired. His whole body is aching from the exhausting practice he did. He has to get up early tomorrow for his morning classes and after that he has internship, luckily after he can stay at his dad's fencing school to practice some more for the competition. Jackson quickly takes a shower, careful not to wake Jinyoung up when he did. He lays down on his soft mattress and closes his eyes.

 

'Today was an eventful day.' He tells himself. Mark lingers his mind, but he decides this is not the time to think about him. He turns around and sleep takes over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you all for reading once again! 
> 
> Leave some kudos and comments if you like1 <3
> 
> ~jacksonsidiot


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both boys haven't talked to each other yet. But just maybe, that will change?

It's been a few weeks, Mark and Jackson haven't talked to each other ever since the meeting. Both of them didn't have the courage to text the other or to just get in touch with the other at all. It wasn't like they didn't want to contact each other, because they did. But both were insecure about it. That wasn't the only reason they hadn't contacted each other.

Mark has been busy with his store, since the holidays were coming around next month. There were usually more costumers around the holiday season since they wanted some unregular fruits and vegatables. Only Mark sold those kind of fruits and vegatables in his area so loads of people came to his store. He was often busy with helping costumers out with searching for the vegatable and making more orders for different kinds of fruits and vegatables. Jaebum and Youngjae help him out a lot in this time which he is really thankful for. He knows both of his friends are also busy with school and often he asks them if they are okay with helping him out since they have finals coming up. Yet everytime the two youngers protest and say that it's fine. They explain to him that they usually make assignments beforehand and they study after they get home. 

Mark has been trying to avoid Yugyeom and BamBam, who still came to the store as regularly as before, even in this season. Mark didn't want to see them because he was afraid of the things Jackson might have told them about their meeting. Mark thought often about the meeting and what would happen if he'd meet Yugyeom and BamBam again. He thought about what Jackson would've said to the couple about the meeting. Mark hates to admit that he thinks he might have made a wrong impression. This was mostly because of his introverted character, which clearly showed during their meeting.

When Mark had walked back home after the meeting he felt bad because he thought he had been too quiet and listened too much. He felt that way because Jackson talked a lot. Mark was fine with that but he felt that he should've talked a bit more. Maybe because of this Jackson thought he was weird or boring. Mark had loads of thoughts, he just never really expressed them. He had thought about all the horrible things Jackson might have said because he was acting so introverted. Mark wasn't trying to portrait Jackson as a bad person, but Mark couldn't help but feel like he had done everything wrong.

Of course feelings like these always came after such meetings and there was no way turning back now. Mark talked about it with Jaebum and Youngjae but they weren't much of a help as they kind of made a joke out of it, saying Mark was probably too distracted by the other boy's beauty. The 23 year old boy knew that they didn't mean it and he could probably laugh about it later, he still felt like they didn't totally understand him. Along with the fact he didn't have much friends beside the two, he couldn't talk to anyone else about how he felt. He just simply left it and accepted the fact that he needed to live with it.

The American native was scared Jackson had told his friends about how quiet and boring he was during their meeting. This was why he didn't want to face the couple, afraid they'd say bad things about him or he was just generally scared to make a bad impression on them now too. Somewhere Mark knew he was being stupid because he had known Yugyeom and BamBam for a while now, but still he couldn't help but think of the worst. 

Around three weeks after the meeting the infamous couple came into the store. Mark is working a shift alone so no one else, for example Jaebum, is around to talk to the couple. Mark throws away some rotten apples and oranges in the trash at the back of the store, a place where customers weren't allowed to go and he comes back into the store. He is about to head back to the back of the store again when he hears the bell of the store ring, signaling a new customer has walked in.

Mark put on a smile and turns to the door, when he sees Yugyeom and BamBam walking in. His smile fades and stares at the two boys.

 

"Hi hyung!" they both greet enthusiastically.

 

Mark quickly puts his smile back on, "Hi guys, how are you doing?"

 

Mark is trying not to seem too obvious about the fact that he feels a nervous and unsettling feeling in his stomach. He immediately thinks about his encounter with Jackson and flashbacks of the gathering flash in front of his eyes.

 

"We're good hyung, how are you?"

 

"I- I'm good too. What brought you guys back here?"

 

"Well, we actually were thinking of getting some dried fruits again, we really enjoyed those last time. And just some other stuff we usually get aswell."

 

"Well help yourselves, the dried fruits are over there." Mark says, pointing at the dried fruits, which are standing next to the nuts he imported from Europe a few days ago. "If you need me, I'll be at the back. Just tell me when you're done and I'll come back so you guys can pay for everything." The younger two nod in confirmation and walk towards the dried fruits.

 

Mark hurries to the back and he sits down on the chair in his office. He puts his head in his hands, covering his eyes. He lets the nerve wrecking feeling settle in the pit of his stomach. He doesn't want to see the other two. He groans in frustration, why did he have to be like this? He became scared and he didn't want them to come in. Mark barely even processed the whole meeting with Jackson and the bad impression he made on the younger. Mark thought he was getting over it, but that was proven wrong right now, he wasn't over it at all. 

 

"Come on Mark, stay professional, you can do this. You don't even know if they talked about you or not, just pretend nothing happened and they'll be gone soon enough." He said trying to cheer himself up.

 

He stands up and takes a deep breath. He walks out of the office and into the store again. The couple walks towards the counter with their basket full of fruits and other foreign goodies. Mark put all the prices in the cash register and told them the total price. The two pay and leave with two full bags, a smile on their faces. As they walk out they say goodbye to their hyung also adding they hope to see him again soon.

 

"Mark hyung was acting a bit weird today, wasn't he Yug?" BamBam questioned as they walk away from the store, on their way home.

 

"He was, I really wonder why, normally he's always happy to see us and he always comes over to talk to us and makes sure we pick the right products etcetera. I really don't get it, did we do anything wrong?"

 

"I have no clue. Maybe he was just having a bad day, we all have those after all."

 

"Yeah, we do." Yugyeom feels sad though, he doesn't like to see his hyung saddened. The red haired boy shrugs and continues to walk with his boyfriend. Their hands intertwined as they walk, both a bag in their other hand.

 

On the other side of town Jackson is busy with practicing for the fencing championship that is coming up in a few weeks. His days are more packed than normal. The 22 year old sleeps three hours a night, four if he was lucky. He usually gets up early to do his work-out routine, quickly eats, goes to school or his internship, eats dinner (if he has time to do so), practices until midnight and then when he gets home he does his homework and makes his assignments for his internship. He goes to bed around 3am and gets up the next day around 6am.

He is mentally tired because of the lack of rest he has been getting but he also knows he has to fight against his tiredness to win the championship. He is determined to win and nothing could stop him. That being said, there is one thing that did stop him from fully concentrating on his fencing. That one thing being his get-together with Mark.

The boy really wants to be friends with the other, he wants to get him know him better. But as Jinyoung had advised him weeks before, he should take it slow and wait for the older to reach out to him. So he did, he patiently waits for the finder of the bottle to contact him. Though the other boy wasn't lingering his mind as much as it was days after the meeting, he lingers his mind at least once a day.

For some reason Jackson just really feels connected to the other boy, when he explained this to his best friend he gave a brief explanation of how that was established. His best friend told him it was probably because the boy got to know the Jackson from the past, the fifteen year old who was insecure about his sexuality and was, what felt like, fucking up his entire relationship with his parents.

The American boy met him when he was vulnerable and got to know him because of that vulnerability. The older boy had advised him on something he wanted to have answered for a long time. Even though he didn't need it anymore, it still was a desire for him to get answered and Mark answered that desire that had been piled up inside him. The other connected to Jackson on a deeper emotional level then a normal stranger would. It makes their friendship special and it's also why it's worth waiting for the other.

Jinyoung said the other is probably also new to this feeling and he maybe doesn't know how to cope with it either or he doesn't know how to approach the blond haired boy again. It's not usual to connect to someone on that emotional level instantly and it generally takes way longer to reach that level. With the consequence that connecting at such level also generally takes longer to build a normal friendship with each other. Jackson has to admit that Jinyoung is right and he waits for the older boy quietly.

The conversation with his best friend really helped and it's what he often tells himself when he is thinking about Mark and their meeting again. It helped, for now. There would come a time where, if things continue like this, Jackson wouldn't be able to hold back and would message the brown haired boy himself. But for now, it helped.

Currently Jackson is procrastinating on his homework. It's 1:42am and he needs to get this finished so he can sleep but he just can't focus on his homework. He really wants to, but he can't get himself toJackson's thoughts are with Mark once again. He is reliving the whole meeting in his head and his desire to message the other boy and wanting to contact him first is growing stronger. He feels conflicted, he really wants to message the other and just break the agreements he made with himself about this topic but he also really wants to know how the other was doing. The temptation to just simply message the other saying hello is high. His brain can't focus and he is mentally way too tired to comprehend with his homework and even thinking about the all the things he has to do tomorrow are making him even more tired.

The Chinese male decides to discontinue his homework and just rest for now. He quietly walks out of his room and heads towards the bathroom to brush his teeth. He cleanses his face with cold water so he can wake up a bit and also try to keep his brain and thoughts with something else instead of with the other male.

Jackson makes sure to keep quiet as he walks into his room again to dress himself in his nightwear. Not that he really wears pajamas but more like a tank top and some basketball shorts. He grabs his phone and scrolls through Instagram for a while, trying to distract himself.

He has gone through all his social media apps and he notices it is 2:51am already. He sighs and puts his phone down, plugging it into the charger. He lays down onto his back and stares up to the ceiling, crossed arms above the duvet. He frowns and he feels Mark entering his mind again. Jackson closes his eyes and tries to count sheep to fall asleep, of course his wouldn't work and he groans out of frustration. All he wants is some goddamn sleep, he isn't asking for the boy entering his mind all the time.

Jackson sits up and sighs, grabbing his earphones from the bedside table and plugging them into his phone, playing his 'sleepy sounds' playlist. Jackson finds himself staring at the message app, looking at his profile won't hurt right? Jackson clicks on the app and scrolls down to find Mark's profile. He clicks on their chat and presses his screen to look at his profile picture and status. Jackson notices they didn't change in these three weeks. He goes back and taps to make his keyboard come up. He stares it and contemplates what to say. He wants it to be casual and not let it seem like he has wanted to speak to the other boy ever since the meeting. Jackson sighs and puts his phone down again, he rubs his eyes. He really shouldn't be thinking about this now. He should be asleep and so he lays down again and rolls down on his side. He stares at the white wall for a while and his eye lids become heavier. He fights he feeling of his eyelids closing but eventually he falls asleep.

A few hours later, at 6am, Jackson's alarm goes off. He groans and silences it, he doesn't want to be awake yet. Jackson finds a comfortable position again and closes his eyes, almost falling back in to a slumber. Moments later Jinyoung barges in. Jackson jerks awake again, he sits up and stares at the other with an annoyed look on his face.

 

"What do you want Jinyoung?" he groans, eyes squinting as he looks at the other.

 

"Remember when you started this routine and told me if you ever stayed in bed after 6.30 I'd wake you up? Yeah, so here I am."

 

"Oh my god Jinyoung, I didn't mean that." The Chinese male grabs his pillow and throws it at his best friend.

 

"You told me you'd probably say that. And now that you don't have your pillow anymore, get your lazy ass out of bed and start your routine before you're going to be late."

 

"I can perfectly sleep without a pillow." Jackson says and lays down on the mattress.

 

Jinyoung walks over and starts to hit him with the pillow. "Get your lazy ass out Jackson, come on you want to win that championship, then get out of your bed."

 

Jackson gets up reluctantly, "Fine, just because I really want it."

 

"Of course you want it now, go." Jinyoung lays the pillow back and pushes him out of his room.

 

A few hours later Jackson checks his phone for the first time since last night.

 

**_'Hey.'_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I am back! Sorry for being such a horrible author and not updating in like almost a month. I will try to update more frequently! I hope you all enjoyed and let me know what you think!
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome of course!
> 
> ~jacksonsidiot <3


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark feels bad. Youngjae and Jaebum help him to meet up with Jackson.

Mark is currently on his way to his best friends' house. He walks to the bus stop with his head low, it being full with thoughts. His mind went over and over today's events especially of when he met Yugyeom and BamBam. He still couldn't believe that he met the pair.

He felt bad for treating them the way he did. He shouldn't have acted so weirdly infront of them. They probably thought weird of them now, because he was acting weirdly towards them. He should've acted like a man instead of being such a pussy. Yugyeom and Bambam had probably noticed something was wrong with him now.

Mark scoffed at the thought, kicking a tiny stone off the pavement as he continued walking.

How stupid was he? To think hiding in his office and leaving them alone was a good idea?

The couple had probably told Jackson how weird he was acting and what a strange guy he was.

Which was a weird thought because he knew them even before he had met Jackson. But he couldn't help but to feel low and insecure about himself and his actions. 

The sad thing being, Mark felt like he didn't have any control over the situation, which he hated. He feels like he hasn't got any influence over the situation. No matter what he does, he feels like he only fucks it up more. 

He wants to say sorry to Jackson for making such a bad impression, he wants to plead to Jackson to give the older another chance.

Mark sighs, tilting his head up to watch the sun set as he approaches the bus stop. The sky is purple, with some orange and yellow appearing here and there. It looks beautiful, but he can't seem to distract himself by looking at it. It only works for a couple of seconds, before his bad thoughts distract him once again.

While waiting for the bus to arrive, Mark's mind was clouded again with thoughts about Jackson. If there was only a way for him to ask Jackson to give him another chance.

Mark knows he can't just go and message the other, in his opinion that'd be awkward and not appropriate at all.

The brown haired boy wants to tell him in person. Though he thought of doing so made him nervous as hell, he knows it was the only proper way to do it.

After a 25 minute bus ride which consisted of making a plan in his head for him and Jackson to meet up, Mark arrives at Jaebum's and Youngjae's house.

He rings the door bell and Youngjae opens the door after a few seconds.

"Hyung! I saw you walkinh up here through the kitchen window, come on in."

Mark smiles and walks in. "How have you been Youngjae-ah?" he asks while throwing his shoes off and putting them in the corner of the hallway.

"I've been good, what about you?"

"I've been okay, I guess." Mark answers as he takes his jacket off and puts it away.

"What do you mean okay?" Youngjae asks, worry lacing his voice. He furrows his brows as he looks at the older male, a concerned look on his face.

"I'll tell you guys later." Mark simply answers, not wanting to talk about it now. He has thought about the whole Jackson thing enough for the last hour.

They walk into the living room and they are greeted with Jaebum putting all the dishes he had made on the table, indicating they can eat soon.

"Hey Mark hyung. Are you hungry?"

"I am, what have you made?"

"All sorts of things. Have a look and sit down, I only have one thing left to put on the table." Jaebum responds and walks in to the kitchen again.

Jaebum takes his apron off and carries the dish over to the table, carefully putting it down as he sits besides Youngjae, Mark facing him.

They eat together and have fun, laughing at some silly jokes and exchanging stories.

"It's good to see you laugh Mark hyung, you seemed to be pretty down when you just arrived here." Youngjae mentioned.

Mark's facial expression changes from a laugh to a somewhat sad expression. "What is wrong hyung, you know you can tell us right?" Jaebum says.

"I know," he is silent for a moment looking down on to his lap, "I just don't know how to explain this."

"Then try, we're all ears." Youngjae says, flashing him a smile and grabbing Mark's hand softly squeezing it.

Jaebum glared at the action, but Youngjae nudges him with his elbow and Jaebum adverts his gaze to Mark.

Mark sighs and looks up to the couple, tears welling up in his eyes.

"I just-" he starts. He gulps, trying not to let the tears slip out of his eyes. 

"Basically, I have been thinking about Jackson a lot for the past few weeks. After I left the meeting I feel like I made a bad impression by not talking much and being introverted all the time. I don't know why but it just feels that way. Just now when I was on my way to you guys I started to think how to contact him. To say sorry, to give me another chance, I really liked talking to him. But you know, as he hasn't contacted me either and as I feel like I just did wrong I feel like I should apologize. On top of that his friends BamBam and Yugyeom came in to the store earlier and I was so stupid to act weird towards them, leaving them in the store so I could collect myself in my office. I'm worried that they have told Jackson already and I won't have a chance to even get everything right."

Mark lowers his head and starts to snivel. The others walk up to him and hold him in a tight hug. They knew Mark was insecure about making new friends, also a part of the reason why he didn't have many. He always felt like he did something wrong when he tried making new friends.

"I just don't know what to do." Mark trails of as he wipes his tears with his sleeves.

"Have you messaged him yet?" Jaebum questions.

"No, I don't even know if it's a good idea to contact him."

"It is, just try it. See how he reacts and just ask to meet up again." The black haired boy advises.

"I know, but it just doesn't feel simple to do so."

"I understand, but please try it. We don't like seeing you like this hyung." Jaebum says and Youngjae nods in agreement.

"I'm sorry that you have to see me like this." Mark apologizes, feeling bad for showing them this side of him.Though they have seen it before it's not easy for him to show this side.

"No, don't apologize it's okay. But give it a shot, before we do it for you." Youngjae teases, trying to light up the mood. He hates seeing Mark like this.

"You guys wouldn't dare to."

"Oh, watch us hyung, we will." Jaebum joins the teasing.

Mark chuckles and looks up to the other two, a smile lingering his face.

"Thank you guys, I love you."

"We love you too!" Youngjae exclaims and pulls the boys into a tight hug.

"Youngjae, I'd like to live for another while. I don't want my cause of death to be a hug." Jaebum says.

Youngjae releases them from his tight grip, "Even if it's from me?" he asks offended, his lips forming a pout and staring at Jaebum.

"Yes, because that means I can't live with you any longer and we still have to marry." Jaebum says as a smirk plasters his face but also trying to control himself and not kiss the pout away.

"Hyung! Don't say that in front of Mark hyung!" Youngjae screams flustered.

"Too late for that now."

"Stoopp!" Youngjae whines and slaps Jaebum's arm playfully.

Mark laughs as he watches the two.

"I'm just going to wash up really quickly." Mark says and he stands up to proceed to the bathroom.

Mark leaves and Jaebum notices Mark's phone laying on the dinner table.

"Should we text Jackson?" He inquires, looking at Youngjae.

"Oh yes, if we don't do it for him he might not do it for another 6 weeks. We can't let that happen."

Jaebum grabs the phone from the table and unlocks it. He quickly opens the message app and scrolls through Mark's contacts.

He notices Jackson's contact and clicks on it, smirking. "Got him."

"Okay now what do we say?" Youngjae says, his head on the other's shoulder looking at the phone.

"Just something simple. How about this?" Jaebum types away and Youngjae stares at the screen attentively.

"Perfect. Not too much, just a simple message."

_**'Hey.'**_ It reads on the screen.

"Okay, now quickly put it away again before Mark comes back."

They put the phone on the table again. They pretend like nothing happened as they do the dishes. Not much later Mark comes back into the living room.

"Are you okay now Mark hyung?" Youngjae asks while putting away a cup in the kitchen cupboard.

"Yeah, I am. Thank you guys once again, you are amazing." He says as he both pulls them in for a short hug.

Mark's phone beeps indicating he has a message. He walks over to his phone on the table and he picks it up, unlocking it, seeing a new message from Jackson.

"Guys.." Mark says in disbelieve.

"Yes?" Youngjae innocently asks.

"Jackson just messaged me."

Before Youngjae can answer, Mark unlocks his phone seeing he had send a message first.

"Yah! What did you guys do? Did you actually send him a message?" Mark says a bit angry.

"Uhm.. Well.. We can explain."

"You better explain it now, why did you do it?" He questions bitterly.

Jaebum sighs, walking over to the two others. "Listen hyung, if we didn't do it you would've waited another 6 weeks. We didn't want that so we messaged him for you." Jaebum responded dryly.

Mark becomes quiet as he stares at the message app on the phone he is holding in is hands. Mark sighs as he looks up to the pair again.

"I understand, actually I feel a little relieved. But what do I do now?"

"Let's go sit down on the couch and think of a reply." Jaebum mentions to the two and they sit down.

"Okay first of all, what did he say?"

"He said _**'Hey!! :D'**_." Mark shows them the message on his phone.

"Okay, well he seems enthusiastic about the fact that you messaged him." Jaebum analysis.

"How about you just start small talk first?" Youngjae suggests and the two others nod. Soon he recieves another message.

**_'How are you doing?'_ **

"Wow, that guy is fast he must have been excited indeed." Youngjae chuckles as he sees how fast the boy replies.

 

_**'I'm doing well, what about you?'** _

  
_**'I have been good, my days have been exhausting though as I have been training hard for my upcoming fencing competition.'**_

 

**_'Oh really? When is it?'_ **

  
**_'In a few weeks.'_**

 

_**'Cool! I'm sure you'll do well.'** _

  
**_'Thank you, I really hope so. It's been my dream forever to get number one in a competition like this.'_**

The small talk continues for a while. Advice being giving to Mark every so often on how to respond to the messages. Then he gets a message he didn't expect to get.

**_'How about we meet up soon?'_ **

Mark flushes red in embarrassment.

"Hyung are you okay?" Youngjae asks, patting his back.

"Yeah.. I am, I just- Didn't expect this."

"Well, it had to happen anyway, didn't it?" Jaebum says.

"It did, but how do I respond now?"

"Just something simple like: 'yeah sure', 'of course I'd love to' or 'yes, it's been a while'." Jaebum advises. Youngjae nods, "The last one sounds good to me. You don't want to seem greedy, you will apologize to him when you meet up."

"Okay then I'll do that."

 

_**'Yes, it's been a while.'** _

  
**_'Great! When are you available?'_**

"Jaebum, could you cover my shift again tomorrow. Just for a little while?"

"Of course hyung, I'm free tomorrow anyway."

"Thank you Jaebum. I'll just ask Jackson if he's available tomorrow."

 

_**'I'm available tomorrow?'** _

  
**_'Hmm.. I could squeeze in some time after my practice. Shall we meet up then? If you want to we can meet up at my fencing school around 3pm. You can see me practice and then we can go to my house afterwards?'_**

 

**_'Sounds good!'_ **

  
_**'Amazing! I'll text you the address. I have to go now. See you tomorrow Mark hyung :)'**_

 

_**'See you tomorrow Jackson :)'** _

  
"Okay, so it's set. I'll see him tomorrow." Mark says and lets out a shaky breath.

Youngjae and Jaebum pat his shoulders. "You did really well hyung."

"I just hope I'm doing the right thing."

"I'm sure you are. He seems excited to see you. Just try it and see how it goes and you can always call us to come and get you."

"Yeah I know, thank you guys."

The boys watched a movie and after that Mark went home.

On his way home he felt a bit better than when we was on his way to the couple's house earlier that day. He feels somewhat relieved but he also feels like there's a lot pressure on him. He wants to do it right tomorrow, make a good impression on the other male.

He can't fuck it up again. Especially after Jackson had seem so excited when he messaged the younger.

Mark lets out a sigh as he leans his head against the bus window. His thoughts of how tomorrow will go keep going in his mind. But he can't distract his mind as hard as he tries to do so.

When he comes home he lays on his bed, worn out. Today has been a busy day, especially for his mind. He even has a bit of a headache because of it now.

Mark changes his clothes and takes some aspirins to calm his headache and decides to go to sleep. He knows tomorrow will be a heavy day aswell and he could really use his rest.

Mark closes his eyes and slowly his mind shuts off as he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It has been a while once again. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! ❤
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated 


	9. Chapter 8

It's a few minutes before 3pm. Mark walks towards the building with 'Wang's fencing' written on it. He looks up at the building, sun shining in his eyes. His eyes squint and he blocks his eyes with his hand. It is a nice day outside, it's not too cold and the sun is shining brightly. There are no clouds in the sky and people walk around the city, chatting away and laughing as they walk around. Mark looks down again and his eyes land on the sign from the building. The letters are written in Times New Roman. Mark thinks it looks nice. The letters are black and decorate the white building well. 

Mark is sure that this is the building Jackson told him about yesterday. He waits outside, not daring to go inside to be met with new people. He'd rather wait here, meeting Jackson is already nerve-wrecking enough.

Mark barely slept last night, he drifted off to sleep easily but he kept waking up throughout the night, wondering if it was time to get up yet. Every time he was met with his alarm which indicated that it was only half an hour later since the last time he checked.

Mark sighs and places his hands in his pockets, looking down at the ground. Though it was a sunny day outside it was nearing winter. He had wrapped his neck with a scarf to try to stay away from the cold, but also partially to cover his face from Jackson.

Why he does that actually had no logical reason, Mark knows that. Yet something inside of him tells him to do so, so he did.

Mark looks up to see the door of the large building open. Jackson walks out, a bag slung over his shoulder and jacket open.

"Mark hyung!" Jackson greets with a wide smile.

Mark smiles a little, "Hi Jackson-ah."

"How have you been? It's been such a while since we've seen each other." Jackson says excitedly, all day he's been anticipating on meeting the elder again.

"I've been good, what about you?" Mark says a little nervously as Jackson mentions it has been a while. 

"I've been good too, my schedule has been killing me but it's okay because I really want to win this tournament."

"I can understand that, it must be so exhausting to train so much."

"It is, but I have to make everything perfect and I have to be prepared for every possible situation."

"Are you sure you're done for today?"

"Not really, but it's okay since I'm meeting up with you."

"It's okay, you can practice some more. I'll just wait here I guess."

"Are you sure? You don't have to wait, all out in the cold! Don't be crazy, you can watch me. If you want to of course."

"Yes it's okay. Go ahead. I'd love to watch you. I don't really know anything about fencing so it'd be interesting to watch you practice."

"Okay, let's go then."

Mark and Jackson enter the huge building. Jackson walks past the reception and up the stairs, Mark follows him.

At the end of the stairs Jackson walks to the dressing rooms, he takes Mark in to the room full of benches, lockers, showers and a weird kind of smell. Mark assumes it's probably the smell of all the athletes' sweat.

Mark sits down on a bench while Jackson changes into his fencing gear. They don't really talk, which makes that Mark is consumed by his thoughts again. He's waiting for the right moment to apologize to Jackson. He feels guilty again thinking about it. 

'Maybe after practice I can tell him?' He thinks.

Jackson is done changing and puts all the stuff away in his locker. He locks it and walks towards Mark.

"Okay let's go Mark. I'll show you around." The younger boy holds his sabre and his mask.

Mark has to admit that he looks good in his fencing gear, this muscles visible in his tight gear.

"Uh- yes, let's go." Mark stands up and walks besides Jackson.

The blond haired boy shows him around the building, explaining fencing as they walk. Mark notices how Jackson explains everything excitedly, he has a huge smile on his face and he moves his hands a lot (almost hitting hiself in the face twice). He ends their walk at his practice room. His trainer looks up at them.

"Jackson, I thought you said you had to be somewhere?"

"I did, but my friend here wanted to see me practice, how could I say no to that."

His trainer laughs, "Of course. Well take a seat.."

"Mark." The said boy answers.

"Ah, Mark, take a seat. Jackson will show you how it's done."

After a couple of hours seeing Jackson train and him and his trainer explaining the game, Mark receives a text.

**_'So how's it going?'_** it reads.

Mark feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He unlocks his phone and sees it's in the groups chat Youngjae, Jaebum and him have. The one texting being Jaebum.

**_'It's good, I'm watching him practice at the moment.'_ **

Almost immediately he recieves a reply.

 

Youngjae-ah:  
_**'What?! Oh my god!!'**_

Jaebum-ah:  
**_'Seriously?! Does he look hot? ;)'_**

**_'Oh, hi Youngjae.'_**

_**'And.. Well.. His muscles are very visible in this gear he's wearing.'** _

  
Youngjae-ah:  
_**'OH MY GOD JAEBUM HYUNG HE DIDN'T EVEN DENY YOUR STATEMENT!!! WE'VE REACHED A NEW STAGE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP.'**_

 

Mark can feel his cheeks heathen. He didn't even think of denying what Jaebum said, he just said what came to his mind that very moment.

 

**_'Shut up Youngjae!! I'm just stating facts here.'_ **

  
Jaebum-ah:  
_**'So.. He does look hot ;)'**_

Jaebum-ah:  
_**'I think you've found yourself a daddy Mark'**_

 

**_'YAH JAEBUM WHAT THE FUCK NO'_**

_**'I'M SO DONE WITH YOU BYE'** _

  
Youngjae-ah:  
**_'NO MARK HYUNG DON'T LEAVE!!'_**

 

_**'BYEE YOUNGJAE'** _

  
Youngjae-ah:  
**_'NO MARK HYUNG PLEASE :('_**

Jaebum-ah:  
**_'MARK HYUNG DON'T JUST LEAVE TF'_**

 

Mark puts away his phone, too embarrassed to reply to his friends' texts.

A little while later Jackson and Mark are outside of the building again, Jackson had finished training and they were both pretty hungry. The two walk over to Jackson's car and decide to go to Jackson's place for some dinner.

This actually makes Mark more nervous than he already is, since there'd be a chance that his roommate and best friend Jinyoung could be there.

During the ride Jackson and Mark talked a bit about their activities from the last few weeks as they didn't get to talk much during Jackson's practice.

"I was happy that you contacted me Mark. I thought you wouldn't anymore since our first meeting." Jackson speaks while he drove the car.

Mark freezes. He wasn't prepared to tell Jackson this yet, he thought being at Jackson's place would be a better place since he could escape if he needed to. But right now, he is in a car which is driving quite fast on a highway and there's no escape possible.

"I- uh.." Mark tried forming his sentences.

"You what hyung?" Jackson looked at him. Mark's face starts to heathen up once again today and he lowers his gaze, fiddling with the end of his t-shirt. A tingly feeling spreads where he's sitting and he can't help but to feel miserable.

He sighs. "It's a long story."

"We have time Mark hyung, please tell me. I won't get mad I promise."

Mark once again doesn't know what to say. His brain is trying to form logical sentences which wouldn't make it look like Mark hates Jackson.

"I just felt bad."

'Great well done Mark. This definitely makes it look like you hate him, congratulations.' He scoldes himself after, realising what he just said.

"Felt bad for meeting me?" Jackson's voice dropped and sounds filled with regret and sadness. Did he really just bring this boy to watch him fencing for hours, only to find out that he doesn't like him at all?

"No! It's just.. I'm not great with meeting new people. I thought I made a wrong impression on you as I was so quiet during our first meet-up. I couldn't get myself to text you."

Jackson looks at Mark again. A wave of mixed emotions hit him. He felt accused of something he didn't even know he had been involved in or had any control over.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you sooner, but I couldn't. It's not your fault, I swear! I just- felt bad because I thought I had been a bothersome to you." Mark rambled on.

"Don't ever say that again. I liked being with you on our first meeting. I noticed that you were quiet and held back, but I thought that was your personality. You didn't do anything wrong hyung, really." Jackson placed his hand on Mark's upper leg and squeezed it a little in reassurance.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes hyung, you didn't do anything wrong. Don't let your thoughts play you like this. You can decide what to do with your thoughts, they won't out themselves until you bring them into action." He gives him a smile and another squeeze.

"It's okay, really. I was just wondering anyway. No big deal." Jackson continues.

Mark smiles a little and looks up to Jackson again giving him a little smile. Jackson smiles back and places his hand on the stirring wheel again.

Fifteen minutes later they arrive at Jackson's place and once they get out of the car the atmosphere changes. Mark breathes in the fresh autumn air and he feels reborn. He needed that really badly.

The tension of the car ride is gone and a weight falls of his shoulders. He's glad he told Jackson.

He's even more glad about the wat the younger responded. He looked very calm, unlike how he is usually.

Jackson walks up to him and they enter the house. Jackson walks straight to the kitchen cabinet to see what they can have for dinner.

Mark sneaks up behind him, cautiously looking around to see if Jackson's roommate is there. No one is to be found so Mark shrugs it off, trying not to let it bother him too much. He's here with Jackson and he should enjoy his time.

"Do you like ramen?"

"Of course, who doesn't."

Jackson laughs and he grabs the packages of ramen and starts preparing them.

Soon after it's done and the two take place at the large dinner table standing in the middle of the room.

The night continues and Mark and Jackson start to get to know each other better. They talk and talk and they can't seem to stop talking or laughing.

Jackson gets to know that Mark stopped with school after getting his high school degree. He was a good student but he didn't know what he wanted to study after so he decided to work instead.

He ended up in the grocery store and at the time he came in an old man was the boss of the shop, he was nice and gave Mark loads of advice, about life but also on how to deal with his sexuality. At the time Mark just came to terms with his sexuality and as he felt the old man was his second dad, he decided to tell him.

The man died after a few years. Mark was so sad when it happened, as he felt like he had just lost his dad. The elder had no family anymore and no kids either. To him, Mark was his son, he cared about him like his own son and he wished for Mark to take over his store when he passed away.

The man is like a second dad for Mark and on his behalf he decided to take over the store. He took courses so he could manage the store properly and although the learned a lot from the man he could use some extra classes.

Mark on the other hand gets to know that Jackson used to be quite defensive to his parents when he was 15 because he was struggling with his sexuality.

His parents became really concerned about him as they saw their loved son changing and behaving weird. He'd scream at them for no apparent reason, he'd get mad at them for the most stupid reason and he would not listen to them at all. They wanted him to go to a psychologist for a talk.

When Jackson first heard the idea he got insanely mad at them. How could his parents do something like that to him? Like they didn't even care about him, probably thinking that he was crazy. He didn't need a psychologist.

So at first Jackson protested against the idea of going there because he wanted to handle it himself and he only protested more and became more defensive when they started to argue with him. His parents became more broken because of their son's behavior. They were fighting almost every day and Jackson heard them every single time.

He knew it was because of him and though it made him feel bad, he didn't change his behavior. He was too subborn.

After a while though, his parents were in front of him both crying over everything. It broke Jackson to see them like that so he agreed with their idea. He also agreed because he was still such a family guy he couldn't say no to them. Especially not in a situation he knew he caused. He hated how much he had hurt them already.

That talk at the psychologist became sessions and they were emotionally draining for him. The sessions would last hours.

Over and over again they'd talk about his feelings and about how to come to terms with himself about this.

His parents knew nothing about what happened at the psychologist, Jackson told his psychologist he didn't want them to know. Not yet.

If he couldn't even come to terms with himself then how was he supposed to clear this up to his parents?

They saw their son changing even more and his behavior towards them became worse.

At some point he didn't even care anymore about what they felt.

They saw him changing from their son who would always be happy and caring to a son who wouldn't care about a single thing.

Though his parents weren't sure about what happened at the sessions, they gave him all the space and time they felt like he needed. Even if that meant that they'd occasionally get hurt.

After every session Jackson would get some assignments to do at home, he had to do those before every next session. He hated doing them and usually didn't do them.

Like that he struggled with himself over and over again. Day in, day out, his thoughts would be with the sessions, the exercises and he wasn't able to change himself.

There was almost no hope for Jackson left because he wouldn't open up too much.

Just then the psychologist decided it would be a good idea if Jackson would write a letter. In which he would write all his feelings down.

The psychologist didn't want to read it after but he just wanted Jackson to see what was going on in that little head of him.

At first he refused to do it, because he thought it was stupid.

But then on a gloomy Thursday afternoon he decided to write down all his feelings. It was driving him crazy and he had to get it off his mind.

That's when he wrote the letter which got him to where he was now. With Mark. Without that letter, he wouldn't have been here, talking to an amazing person who decided to respond to the only cry that Jackson let out to the rest of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back, hello! It's sooner than I thought I would update but here you go! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Let me know what you think of this! 
> 
> ~jacksonsidiot


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson has his fencing champoinship and Mark comes to watch.

About a week later Jackson's tournament rolled around. He had been practicing a lot and he knew he was ready for it. Though he was anxious about the results, the adrenaline rushing through his body made him forget this. He wanted to win, making everyone around him proud. He has a lot of pride and he didn't want that to break today.

After Mark and Jackson's second meeting a little while ago, Jackson asked Mark to come to the championship. Mark requested if it was okay to take his two friends. (Or more like Jaebum and Youngjae persuaded him to ask Jackson if it was okay for them to tag along.) Jackson agreed to it, saying it was no problem.

 

And so it was the day of the game.

 

Beforehand Jackson had gotten his friends plus Mark and his companions the best tickets so they could see him shine.

Jinyoung, Yugyeom and BamBam have been waiting for Mark and his friends to arrive. It was approximately 20 minutes before the game started and the arena they were in was quite full already.

After a couple more minutes passed Mark, Jaebum and Youngjae walked in. Mark had the tickets in his hands and looks around to search their spots. As soon as he sees Yugyeom and BamBam, at the opposite of where they were now, he waves at them. Yugyeom and BamBam wave back, earning a confused look from Jinyoung.

"Who are you waving to?" he asks, furrowing his brows.

"It's Mark hyung and his friends. They also work at the grocery store, we see them sometimes." Yugyeom answers.

Jinyoung was actually quite excited to meet Mark. After he came home the night of Mark and Jackson's second meeting, Jinyoung had heard all about him. Jackson seemed so relieved that they talked, he also talked about what happened before he wrote the letter. Jinyoung knows like no one else that's a thing Jackson rather doesn't talk about unless he trusts someone a lot.

Of course, somewhere Jinyoung had seen this coming but he didn't know it'd be this fast. He did feel really happy for Jackson. Mostly because he was relieved to see the other happy instead of confused and slightly frustrated. The blond haired boy fussed all about Mark and Jinyoung couldn't help but smile when he heard the stories.

The other three boys walk over, making the other boys stand up. Mark flashes them a smile and BamBam pulls him in for a hug. It surprises Mark but he hugs back.

"Mark hyung! It's so good to see you, how are you?"

"I'm good." Mark answers back. "These are my friends Jaebum and Youngjae, you two may know them from the store."

"Hi!" They both greeted the other three boys.

"Hi! I'm BamBam, in case you guys didn't know. This is my boyfriend Yugyeom and Jackson's best friend and roommate Jinyoung." BamBam said excitedly.

Jinyoung and Mark shake hands. Also shaking the hands of Jaebum and Youngjae after.

They start to talk among each other, mostly talking about how they think Jackson will do and they try to predict the end score, making them all laugh at how ridiculous the predictions where getting. Jinyoung and Mark seated in the middle, next to Mark were Jaebum and Youngjae and next to Jinyoung being Yugyeom and BamBam.

"Oh guys, that reminds me," BamBam begins as he grabs his backpack to take something out of it. "Yugyeom and I made some banners, do you want one?"

Youngjae's face lits up. "Yes of course!" BamBam smiles and gave Youngjae a banner.

All of a sudden it went quiet and a man in a suit comes out with a microphone in his hand.

"Hello everybody! I welcome you all to the 89th international fencing championship. The final rounds will be played today. I hope you all will be excited. The athletes are waiting to impress you with their skills. May the best one win today. I will introduce them all one to one to you before we start. After that the first match will be played. There will be one break in between all the matches so I hope you're comfortable because you'll be here for a while. The top 10 of the world is currently here in this stadium and at the end of the day the number one will be given the honor of best fencer 2017." The man said and the crowd goes wild, aswell as the boys who are cheering Jackson's name loud and clearly.

The boys look at each other with anticipation, waiting for Jackson to come out. They have their banners ready in their hands.

"Participant number 7, representing Hong Kong. He has won best Asian fencer earlier this year and here he is once again. Ladies and gentlemen, let yourself hear for Jackson Wang!"

The boys get up, screaming and waving their banners. Jackson walks up to the middle of the room and bows to everyone, waving at his friends with a smile on his face. He is wearing his gear, holding his sabre in one of his hands and holding his helmet in the other.

Jackson takes his place next to the other six that were mentioned before. Mark only having eyes for Jackson. He doesn't even hear the other participants being called and as Mark looks at Jackson it seems like Jackson was staring right back at him, smile on his face. Mark almost thinks he is mistaken when he sees Jackson wink when he walks away as the first match is about to start.

All the boys watch the first few games carefully, noticing that the games ended at fifteen points with a little one minute break when one of the fencers made their eighth point. The athletes would drink a little and quickly meet with their coach to discuss their next moves.

Backstage Jackson is nervous, he sits down at a bench, fumbling with his sable as he is in deep thought. He isn't the normal kind of nervous he'd always be when he had a match like this one. This nervousness he feels right now is different.

He couldn't stop thinking about how Mark was staring at him when every participant was being introduced. He had a sparkle in his eyes and he was smiling brightly at him, as if he was his whole world.

Jackson couldn't do anything but to look back at him the very same way, even doing something he thought he wouldn't do, ever. He winked at Mark when he left to go backstage and wait for his match to start.

When he realized what he'd done he felt a bit weird. Like it wasn't something he had planned on doing and he wasn't at all planning on doing it where everyone could see what he did. Luckily it hadn't appeared on the big screens, or so he hoped.

Somewhere Jackson was very foreign to this feeling, he didn't know what it was but it made him feel good aswell as at the same time it made him feel incredibly nervous as he didn't want to disappoint Mark.

The encounter was fun but it had put some extra pressure on him, something he thought he'd not experience.

He wants to win, he is willing to give his everything just so he could win the match and maybe more importantly so he could show this trophy off to Mark later. Though of course he somewhere knew it wasn't just for the trophy. Not that he is going to admit that.

Only moments later Jackson is called by his coach to warm up for his match. Jackson stands up feeling more nervous and of course his trainer notices it.

He massaged Jackson's shoulders as he told him that he shouldn't worry and he rambled about how he had it all. His words calm Jackson a little bit and he tries to focus on his match instead of Mark, who he had to admit, looks very good today.

Jackson requests his earphones so he could listen to some relaxing music before his match starts. He warms up his body once more before putting his earphones away and walking out to the match area.

He hears his friends scream from the first row, he was glad that they were being so supportive but it didn't burst his concentration bubble once second.

He greets the crowd and his match partner, someone presenting the United States, before standing in his starting position, ready to defend and attack.

'Let the games begin.' He thought as he felt adrenaline rushing in his system again.

All of the boys look at Jackson hopefully. As expected, he was doing amazing during his first match. He won with 15-11. The boys cheering for him loudly when he wins the match.

The first match he always thought of as the most important one as it indicates how well you will do during the rest of the competition. So, when it was over Jackson is glad he survived this first match.

He greets his match partner once again before leaving to go backstage. He glances at his friends as he walks by and they were all putting thumbs up for him. Jackson smiles and gives the gesture back as he walks by.

He can't help but to notice how close they look. Seeing them all supporting him and it makes his heart happy. Especially seeing how even Jaebum and Youngjae, who he had never seen or met before are cheering him on like one of the guys.

The Chinese male sits down again and the moment that he sits down he goes back into deep thoughts. This time his mind clouded with slight sadness, coming from the fact that his parents couldn't be there today as they were too busy to fly out to Korea. He had promised to call them right after the championship ended.

Beforehand they had of course wished him the best of luck. His dad even joked that he wouldn't need their praises as he would win anyways. The Chinese boy laughed about the comment, he for sure knew that he did actually need it as all the other fencers were really good and he couldn't just win against them.

They day passes by and as prospected Jackson is actually going towards victory. The boy keep cheering him on loudly whenever he plays a match and they were almost pretty sure the people behind them were getting annoyed with all their screaming. Not that one of them cared, supporting their friend was way more important than those people complaining.

In the break the boys decide to meet up with Jackson. They wait for him to get out from the backstage area and as soon as they see him they pull him into a group hug. Mark surprisingly being the one who is literally pressed against Jackson's chest.

All the boys are screaming and cheering for Jackson as he was currently one match away from getting the title. They let go of each other and they all smile at Jackson, proudness clearly visible in the faces of his friends.

Jaebum and Youngjae aswell are very positive and Jackson of course introduces himself to the two. They start talking and complimenting Jackson about how well he was doing and how cool he looks during fencing.

They laugh a bit before Jackson's coach walks up to him, telling him he needed to come back to prepare for his last round. They bid goodbye to him and telling him they'd be waiting for him to come out when it was over.

All of them got some drinks and went back to their places with a few minutes to spare before the final two rounds were starting. One of which had to decide who Jackson's final match partner would be.

The match had decided that a guy representing South-Korea would be his final match partner. The crowd of course was going wild, seeing that someone from their country had a possibility to win against Jackson.

Meanwhile all of the boys are nervous for Jackson as many people from the crowd are actually cheering against Jackson instead of for him. The boys had all looked at each other and concluded that they should be as loud as they can for Jackson.

One last time they have to show how much they support their friend.

The last match starts and Jackson and his match partner walk up. They shake each other's hands and greet the crowd. The crowd goes wild and the boys are screaming on top of their lungs for Jackson, waving their banners proudly.

The match is incredibly nerve wrecking, the one minute break after the eighth point rolls around after a fifteen minute match. Jackson's concentration is to the fullest, he can't even hear the crowd anymore, he is in his own world.

Determent and full of adrenaline he starts the match again. He fences like he has never before, the crowd gasps and they scream as the judge decides on who the points belong to. All of them want their favorite to win. The points are critical and they need every single one they can get.

The score is 14-14 and the next point will elect who is the next fencing champion of 2017. Everyone holds their breath as the match is about to start. Everyone looks at the two athletes full off anticipation.

Jackson feels tired but he gives his all for the last point he has to win. His match partner moves forward and Jackson defends himself, jumping and going backwards trying not to get hit by the other's sable. After he ditches his attack he quickly moves forwards and seeks an opportunity to hit the other and he _does_.

The crowd cheers and his friends who are on the first row start to scream and cheer, hugging each other as the last point appears next to Jackson's name.

Jackson takes off his helmet and greets his match partner once more before being pulled into a hug from his coach. He screams and jumps up and down with his coach as he completely feels alive again. New adrenaline rushes through his body as he realizes what just happened. He is the new fencing champion.

As soon as his coach lets go he runs to his friends. They reach down as far as they can and Jackson reaches up as far as he can and they shake each other's hands and try to hug each other.

"Yes ladies and gentleman the winner of the 89th international fencing championship is concluded. Representing China, Jackson Wang!" The sound of the presenter echoes through the hall. Jackson runs back to the presenter who is waiting for him.

"So tell me, how do you feel?" he asks while pulling Jackson by his side, handing him the microphone.

"I feel amazing! I want to thank my amazing coach, my parents and of course all my friends on the first row. I love you all! And to those who came to cheer for me today, thank you so much. I'm so happy right now."

"Well Jackson, get changed and we'll see you at the award ceremony." He let go of him and Jackson runs backstage.

When he comes backstage his fellow athletes congratulate him on winning and he thanks them all. He leaves to his changing room and changes into a new pair of fencing gear. It feels good to put on something that isn't wet because of all the sweat. After he quickly washes his face and dries it before going back to his trainer.

His coach accompanies him to the award stage. He waits backstage as he sees the number three and two being honored by the judges.

"And then, the star of the night. Give your all for the winner of the 89th international fencing championship, Jackson Wang!" The presenter echoes through the microphone.

Jackson walks up to him and bows and waves to the mass of people on his way. He takes place at the stage for the number one. One of the judges walks up to him, he shakes his hand and gives him a medal. After that the other judges walk up with flowers and his trophy.

For one last time Jackson cheers and screams for the public before walking off and heading backstage for one last time.

After he walks off the others rush to get outside the arena to wait for Jackson. They wait for about twenty minutes before Jackson comes out in normal clothing, a big bag swung around his shoulder and his cup in his hands.

Jinyoung is the first one to congratulate him on his win, after that come Yugyeom and BamBam who hug him what almost looks like to death.

Jaebum and Youngjae are somewhat formal, they shake his hand and tell him how amazing it looked and how much they enjoyed it.

The one and only left being Mark, who wasn't sure what to do so he just awkwardly walks up to him. But Jackson had another idea, he pulled him in for a hug. Mark is surprised but he hugs back.

"You did so well Jackson-ah, I'm so proud of you." He whispers only for Jackson to hear.

They let go and Jackson beams of confidence, his smile infecting Mark to smile aswell.

"So, shall we go for dinner to celebrate Jackson?" Jinyoung asks.

"Yes, I'd love to. I'm so hungry, treat is on me!" Jackson responds.

"Mark hyung, Jaebum hyung, Youngjae-ah, are you coming too?"

They all exchange quick glances before all nodding.

Only then Mark realizes that Jaebum and Youngjae will probably take this opportunity to interrogate Jackson.

_'Oh god.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It might be a little boring but I had to write about it. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought of it! Comments and kudos are appreciated ♡♡
> 
> ~jacksonsidiot ☆


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jackson have an embarrassing accident at the zoo.

When the boys had arrived at a restaurant of their liking, they walked in. All of them chittering among each other, talking about their findings of today. 

The rest of them were talking amongst each other, laughed and smiling at each other's stories and findings of that day.

Jaebum and Youngjae seemed to be blending in well. They chatted with Jackson and BamBam, who were walking up front. Mark had a sceptic feeling about it, they were probably getting close to him now so they could interrogate him later.

The rest of them were talking amongst each other, laughed and smiling at each other's stories and findings of that day.

Jaebum and Youngjae's talk with Jackson was the least of Mark's concern right now. He is more concerned about how not to make it too awkward between Jackson and him. The crippling feeling of anxiousness feeling heavily in his stomach. He looks down at the floor as he tries to get rid of the feeling by thinking of the positive sides of everything.

Of course they had a good talk a few weeks ago. It just took Mark a while to adjust to his new friends. Jackson knew this and tried not to let his feelings take over too much. He was too afraid to scare Mark away and he definitely didn't want that. He looks at Mark as a good friend and he doesn't want to loose him by making a dumb mistake, which he could have avoided by not letting his feelings taking over so much.

Mark needs time and Jackson is willing to give it to him.

If it wasn't for that Jackson would have been a bit more clingy to Mark already. He usually does that to his friends, especially Jinyoung as they lived together. 

When Jackson had met Jinyoung he was clingy within the first month. It suprised Jinyoung, but he didn't mind physical contact, besides Jackson was hard to resist. His puppy eyes and bubbly personality took a place in Jinyoung's heart easily.

Though somewhere this felt different for Jackson. He didn't really want to admit it as he didn't know what this feeling exactly was, but it was there and sometimes it kept bugging Jackson. It came up by just looking at Mark or even slightly touching him. Like with the hug earlier today, it was there. He wasn't sure what the feeling was. It felt like a warm feeling going through his body, spreading everywhere. Jackson felt so happy, so content when he felt it, he wanted more of it. To discover what it was,  _of course._ Not because he was  _selfish._ He knew he couldn't, not before Mark was ready.

Once entering the restaurant, they gave their coats to the waitress and were brought to a table in the middle of the restaurant. It was beautiful inside as so Mark thought.

In the middle of the restaurant was a big round table, the table was set with a dark red table cloth. There were big chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling shining a yellow light through the restaurant. Most of the restaurant was made from expensively looking dark wood, the only exception being the black shining tiles laying the floor.

On the table there was beautiful silver wear and white plates which almost light up the place, the wine glasses standing next to them made of crystal and glinted next to them as light from the chandeliers shined upon them. In the middle of the table stood a beautiful bouquet filled with dark Dahlias.

It looked beautiful and the boys felt relaxed. They took in the beautiful atmosphere with big eyes and open mouths. Scanning the whole restaurant for the beautiful details everywhere.

It had been months since Mark went out for dinner and this place was definitely the most beautiful he has ever been. His mouth agape while looking around and up to the ceiling.

"It looks beautiful here Jackson." Mark says astonished.

"I know right, it's one of my favorite places."

"Do you come here often?" Mark asks, turning to Jackson.

"Mark hyung, not to be rude but that sounds like a pick-up line." Yugyeom budges in.

"Maybe it was, who knew." BamBam teases with him.

"Yah! I'm trying to be genuinely interested here." Mark defends himself.

"Interested in his d-" BamBam replies before being cut off by Jinyoung's hand on his mouth.

"Okay guys enough of this teasing. Let's sit down first." Jinyoung says, mentioning them to sit down at the table the waitress brought them to.

Jackson lead Mark to sit down first, taking a seat next to him. His hand on his waist and slowly making him sit down in the dark chair.

Mark felt his face heat up slightly by the action. He was still embarrassed what happened just seconds before and this gesture wasn't helping at all. Jackson sat down next to him.

"To answer your question, I don't. I used to, but I still love the place. I came here once with my parents when I had just moved here. I was so astonished by the place too. After that I just came here regularly to remind me of them. It kind of became a second home when I had just moved. Now I sometimes come here and remember those times, they're comforting especially when I don't feel well."

Mark just nodded, giving a slight smile at Jackson, he did not really bothering to say another word. He didn't want the boys to jump to conclusions again and attack him.

They ordered and the dinner was moving smoothly. Mark still felt some tension, waiting for Jaebum and Youngjae to start interrogating Jackson. His attention was constantly on them when the dinner just started but Jinyoung spoke to him and he felt himself calm down a little bit. His attention focussing on Jinyoung. To Mark, he seemed like a nice guy. Someone Mark would want to hang around with. Jackson had chosen some pretty good friends for himself Mark concluded.

Mark eventually thought they gave up but by the time their dessert came out it all started. Mark saw the look that Jaebum was giving him and Jackson, he didn't like it one bit and he was trying to ignore it.

For the first time during the dinner Mark spoke up to Jackson. All the others were chatting among each other and laughing occasionally.

"Hey Jackson, want a bite of my dessert?" he asked, turning his gaze to the younger.

The younger, who was eating his ice cream looked at him, then at his dessert which was a crème brûlée.

"Sure." He replied, the dessert looked delicious so _why_ not?

Mark grabbed his spoon and took a little out of the bowl the French dessert was in and pointed it towards Jackson. Jackson turned around and put his hand on Mark's thigh for support, while leaning in. Mark didn't see that one coming at all and he was utterly shocked but fed Jackson anyway.

Jackson leaned back once he had the dessert in his mouth.

"Hmm, it's delicious." He said and licked his lips after.

"Excuse me, are you doing alright over there?" Jaebum's voice spoke up loudly. The others breaking off their conversation and looking into the direction Jaebum was looking at.

_'Damn it, I knew it wasn't a good idea.'_ Mark thought, looking down at his dessert, mindlessly taking a spoonful of it and shoving it into his mouth.

"We're fine, why are you asking?" Jackson answers, oblivious to what was going on.

"You just seem, _you know_ , kind of close to our friend over there."

"He was just feeding me a bite of his dessert, I don't see what's weird about that."

"Well basing on Mark's face and the whole situation, it just looks a bit couple like." Jaebum said empathizing on the last two words.

Jackson laughed. "Oh Jaebum hyung, you're funny. I mean of course you see it as a couple thing, you've probably done it to Youngjae before but come on, he's just feeding me a bite of his dessert because I obviously kept looking at it, curious as to how it tasted. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't see how that's so couple like?"

Jackson wasn't mad at all though. He just found it funny how Jaebum tried to make something so innocent so big.

Jaebum sighed and eyed the both of them one more time before taking a bite of his own dessert. Dismissing the conversation. Everyone started their conversations again and Mark shot a thankful glance at Jackson, nodding his head a little and giving him a kind smile.

The rest of the evening was smooth and Jaebum eventually said sorry for his behavior. His boyfriend also scolding him for pointing out something like that. Jaebum just really wanted some evidence of the two having some sort of feelings for each other. He couldn't stand the meaningful glances and the slight touching, the blushing faces and the sly smiles to each other. It had to mean something. Besides, Jaebum just wanted Mark to have a boyfriend and be happy. Also, he wanted Mark to have some action, it had been too long since Mark had brought someone home. Jaebum couldn't stand it anymore.

* * *

Back to reality, it has been a few months since the dinner. Holidays have passed and everyone got back in their same old routines.

Though not everything was the same. One of those things being the boys' dynamic with each other. They had grown much closer over the past few months. They often hung out with each other when they didn't have anything to do. Or when they had  _loads_ of things to do but didn't want to do them.

Often they had movie nights and occasionally they went out somewhere. They were acting like they had known each other for years. They joked around with each other, they all got along really well and sometimes even the most unexpected pairs went out to do something together.

Like that one time Jaebum and Yugyeom went to the movies together. No one saw that one coming, not even their boyfriends but it just meant that even them got along really well. 

Another thing that had changed is the dynamic between Mark and Jackson. Mark had grown really comfortable with Jackson.

The two got clingy with each other. Hand holding in public became a thing and the two didn't even mind. They got those confusing stares here and there but they didn't seem to mind at all, laughing it off and being even more clingy to confuse even more people around them. Cuddling had also become a routine, every time they watched a movie they snuggled next to each other, preferably underneath a fluffy blanket. Hugging was a thing that happened too, at the most random times.

They were really touchy feely and as usual the boys teased them about it. It used to really get to them _-because who were they to tease them about it, they just loved being around each other-_ but now they really didn't care anymore because they were too comfortable to even stop with it. They were always by the other's side and they didn't even mind it, nor did they care what others thought of them.

 

* * *

 

Today they were on a trip to the zoo. All of them were there, but they eventually split up as they all wanted to see something else. Of course Mark and Jackson ended up together, aswell as Jaebum, Youngjae, Jinyoung and Yugyeom and BamBam.

Mark and Jackson were headed towards the lions as Jackson wanted to see them badly. It was kind of a chilly day outside. They were wearing scarfs loosely around their necks and they were holding hands when walking.

They look at the animals they passed while walking, so they saw the giraffes. They stopped a few minutes when looking at them, pointing out two who were swinging their necks weirdly. They both laughed as they imitated the movements the animals were making, also joking they were doing some kind of yoga.

Someone tapped Mark's shoulder, he jumped at the sudden touch and cut his laughing immediately. In front of him was a man with a microphone in his hand and a camera crew behind him.

"Can I help you?" Mark asked.

"You might. We're doing dares for my YouTube channel. Do you want to do one?"

"Oh my god Mark, yes we should!" Jackson said excitedly.

Mark looked to his side, he wasn't really into these type of things. But the way Jackson looks at him pleadingly made that he couldn't say no.

"Okay, yeah sure."

The guy took a bowl from his bag. "Take one out."

Mark signed Jackson to take one and so he did. He let Mark's hand go as he opens the tiny folded paper with both of his hands.

Mark misses the warmth on his hand and actually wants it back as quickly as possible so he hopes this all is over soon. He got so used to the touch, when it wasn't there it just felt weird. It grew to the point where it even felt a little uncomfortable not having the other's touch. Especially when he wasn't around Mark turned into the silent boy he was before he even met Jackson. 

Mark, and the rest of the boys, of course noticed this. They made sure that Mark talked a little when Jackson wasn't around. They always paid close attention to him to make sure he was actually okay. Mark would talk to them when necessary but if not, he just prefered to listen. 

Jackson's face dropped as he saw the paper. He begins to shake slightly as he gathers the courage to read the paper out loud.

"Get kissed on your face by the person you are doing this dare with." He reads.

Jackson turns silent and puts his head down in embarrassment. They both have given their friends like a peck on the cheek before as a joke. Or they did it to thank the other, but never have they done something like this.

Mark is in shock as he hears the words leave Jackson's mouth. _He has to kiss him on his face?_ A wave of embarrassment hit him and he becomes silent, looking down aswell. He hopes to escape this now because he definitely didn't want this now.

The guy laughs at their reaction "Come on, it's just a peck. You guys have probably done it before since you're a couple."

It shocks both Mark and Jackson. They try to get out of the situation saying that they're not a couple but the reporter disagrees. "Why else would they be holding on to each other like that earlier?" was his argument. Both Mark and Jackson couldn't explain it, they had no words.

Mark and Jackson have been mistaken for a couple before because of their clinginess but they always get out of the scene by saying that they're just best friends who are clingy with each other.

Usually people would just believe them and continue on like they were before but this time there was no way of getting out of this.

There was a huge pressure felt by both of the boys. They couldn't run away from this, it had to happen.

Mark decides to be bold. He grabs Jackson's chin, placing his thumb on it and the rest of his fingers under his chin. Jackson looks up, flushed red, wanting to look down again.

But Mark doesn't let him. Mark moves forward, inching closer to Jackson's face. Jackson can feel his breath against his face and Jackson wants to look down again but he can't.

"I'm making this quick okay? Don't budge." Mark whispers loud enough for only Jackson to hear.

He moves Jackson's head slightly so he has enough space to kiss him on his cheek. He steps closer, leaning in, closing his eyes focusing on his task to get this over quickly. His plump lips almost touching Jackson's burning red cheek.

And just as he's about to kiss his cheek. "Yo Jackson hyung!" BamBam's voice calls. Jackson turns his head as reaction to his name being called, forgetting about what was happening.

The effect being that Mark presses his lips against Jackson's cheek, but not only that his lips landed slightly on Jackson's lips aswell. As soon as Mark notices he backs away in embarrassment.

_Why do these things always happen when he's being bold?_

Jackson also realizes what just happened and his face only gets more red. They quickly part from each other as BamBam and the others walk closer.

"What's happening here?" Jaebum asks, smirk lacing his face. Finally he had found evidence of his friend liking the other.

"N-nothing. It was just this.. dare." Jackson tries to answer as normal as possible.

The young guy turns to them, happy they all got this on camera as it'll get loads of views.

"We're doing couple dares and we asked your friends to do one too." He explains.

The boys look back and forward between the reporter and the so called couple before bursting into laughter.

"You know they're not a real couple right?" Jinyoung asks, laughing.

"What?" The reporter says.

"We tried to explain that to you Mister but you wouldn't believe us. We kind of felt forced to do it because you didn't believe it." Mark responds, voice getting softer at the end of the sentence and looking down slowly.

Only then the realization hit the reporter. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't notice, I thought you guys were just trying to not get it on camera because you were embarrassed. We can arrange not to air the footage if you want to?" He apologizes.

Mark and Jackson look at each other, neither of them saying a thing.

"I.. I guess-" Mark replies.

The boys notice how hard and difficult is for both of them, the look on their faces says it all. They're staring down at the ground with their faces slightly flushed. They look awkward.

"I think they'd appreciate that." Jinyoung tells the interviewer, not wanting them to make a stupid mistake and letting it air anyways.

Mark and Jackson look up and nod towards the reporter, letting him know they agree with what their friend said.

"I'm so sorry for this all. We'll get going and enjoy your day at this wonderful zoo. We won't air the footage." He bows and so does the camera crew. Before they can say another word to them they take off.

"And if you do we'll sue you!" Jinyoung calls at them while looking at them heading off.

"Come on guys, let's get some food and enjoy the rest of the day." Jaebum says and starts walking.

The rest follows him. Youngjae and Jinyoung by his side, behind them Yugyeom and BamBam and lastly Mark and Jackson.

"I'm sorry about taking the dare. I didn't know it was a couple thing." Jackson apologizes, head down, fidgeting with the end of his jacket.

Mark looks at him as he speaks his words. He wraps an arm around the other's waist and pulls him close. Jackson notices the touch and puts his head on Mark's shoulder, looking for comfort.

"It's okay, I didn't know either. Let's just forget about it and go back to where we were okay?" Mark says whilst laying his head on Jackson's.

He feels a hand sneak around his waist and the head underneath his rises, looking Mark in the eyes.

"Okay. Thank you Mark." Jackson replies, his hand trailing off to Mark's hand and grabbing it tightly. The warmth Mark searched for earlier came back and the comfort between the two grows again, like nothing happened.

"Nothing to thank me for Jackson."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo! I hope you all enjoyed!!
> 
> Let me know what you thought! Kudos and comments are appreciated ♡
> 
> ~jacksonsidiot


	12. Chapter 11

All of them walk to a food corner, somewhere not near the giraffes and closer to the tigers Jackson originally wanted to go to. They stop on their way a couple of times to look at some rinos and zebras.

Jackson and Mark are slowly settling down from everything that happened earlier. In order to comfort each other silently they walk closely. Hand in hand they move forward. Their hands hold each other thightly, their fingers intertwined. Jackson leans into Mark's left shoulder slightly as they walk behind the other boys. His heart is still beating fast as he feels sorry for Mark. 

Jackson always takes everything hard on himself, overthinking what happened. He fucked this up. He is the one who took the dare. He is the one who pleaded Mark to do it. It's all his fault. His stomach feels heavy as they walk. He looks up at Mark, the boy looks around the zoo, looking at some animals as they pass by them. 

Mark looks down at Jackson as he feels his eyes piercing through him. He looks at him and his gaze softens when he sees Jackson looks at him with furrowed brows. 

Mark's right hand reaches Jackson's face and Jackson lifts his head from Mark's shoulder. Mark says nothing but he strokes his thumb over Jackson's cheekbone. He smiles softly at him and holds his hand a little thighter. 

Mark feels Jackson's uneasiness. Mark leans down and kissing Jackson's forehead. 

"It's okay, Jacks." He whispers softly.

Arriving at the food corner they order some drinks and something to eat. Jackson, Yugyeom and BamBam get a hotdog and some cola. The others getting a freshly made waffle and a soft drink.

They sit down at the wooden table with wooden bench attached. They eat silently, there is some kind of tension between all of them. The tension lays in the air heavily.

Mark thought he had settled it and that it was okay now, yet he feels all of them feel uneasy. All of them eye at Mark and Jackson, the two not saying a word. They only have eyes for their food and drinks.

Jinyoung feels the tension in his body rise and he can't handle seeing his friends like this. They are a newly formed group and seeing them act out of their natural behavior is weird for him. He has always been quite emotional, he feels the other's emotions quickly. When stuff like this happens he can feel so wrong, like it's his fault.

Jinyoung knows Yugyeom feels the same way and the two exchange glances, both of their faces worried. Their brows furrowed and their appetite ruined. They both feel the tension so extremely that it's hard for them to eat. Yugyeom feels overly nervous with all the emotions that he feels boiling inside of him.

Jinyoung on the other hand feels anxious. It's the first time something like this happens and they all don't know what to do. He shares a glance with Jaebum, who also looks back at him with a worried glance on his face. He feels it too, but not as strongly as the other two.

Jinyoung feels tense, his motherly instincts kicking in, he sighs out loud.

"Okay, guys. Let's talk, what's going on?" he says softly.

Everyone is quiet and looks at him, heads hanging low. They all want to answer but they can't bring their feelings into words. Maybe that's a problem that they'll have more often in the future but it had never happened to them before.

Normally they would be jumping around and exchanging stories. But this was not the case now, Jackson looks up and he can't believe he caused something like this. He caused them all to feel this way. Guilt washes over him. Being the vitamin of the group can be great, always lifting the others' moods, but it can be preposterous aswell. He just completely downed their moods, something which he never did to them before. Atleast, that's how he feels.

"I- I'm sorry guys." Jackson mumbles.

Mark looks at him, questioning why the hell he is saying sorry. When they were walking over here, he seemed to have comforted the younger. Jackson seemed to have calmed down before but Mark only just now noticed the look on his face. His eyes look like they're on the edge of tears, his head hang low and his smile not as evident as it ever was. Jackson shouldn't feel sorry, it wasn't his fault.

"Why are you saying sorry?" Jinyoung asks, as if he could read Mark's thoughts.

"If I hadn't taken that damn dare, this tension wouldn't have been a thing. It's my fault."

"Jackson," Mark speaks up, "nothing of this is your fault. You couldn't know what that dare was about, neither could I. It happened, I don't hate you and the others don't hate you either. I know you feel like it's your fault but it isn't your fault. We were put in a situation we couldn't escape out of, we did everything we could." Mark says, wrapping his arms around Jackson, who sat next to him.

The other gladly accepts the hug and lets the tears escape his eyes, wetting Mark's jacket. Silent sobs leave his mouth as Mark tightens his grip. Jackson's body moves up and down quickly, letting all his guilt wash over him, while crying out loud. Mark sways them from left to right, shushing the younger, telling him not to cry.

Jinyoung is the first to walk over to the other two from the other side of the table, wanting to comfort his best friend. He rubs Jackson's back as he whispers sweet nothings in his ear. Youngjae joins too and so does Yugyeom, trying to comfort their friend, their brother. The others get close too and a group hug arises, all of them wanting to comfort him.

Others may look at the seven boys weirdly because they're in a public and they're being so close, but none of them care at that moment. Jackson is way more important than that. 

Jackson feels himself calm down and his sobs get less. Jackson rises his head and looks at all of them, his head being pressed into Mark's chest. He hears his heartbeat and for some reason it's soothing for him, he smiles through his tears. The others let go slowly and Jackson wipes his tears with his sleeve.

Mark helps him wiping his tears, with his own sleeves. He looks down at the younger, he feels such a strong need to take care of him that he can't help but to hold him closely.

Jackson nuzzles his head into Mark's chest listening to his soothing heartbeat once again. The others sit down at their seats again, Jaebum ruffles his hair before sitting down again.

Mark slowly releases his grip on Jackson, his hands moving to his waist and watching the other intently. Jackson wipes his last tears away and sighs.

"Are you okay now?" Youngjae asks, worry still lacing his voice.

"I'm okay, thank you guys. I just needed to get this out."

"It's alright Jacks." Mark speaks up and without realizing it he plants a kiss on the younger's forehead.

Jaebum chuckles, nudging BamBam next to him who was already concentrated on eating his food. BamBam looks up and catches the last bit of the gesture.

Finally, Jaebum had got some more evidence of the two liking each other since the dinner.

"Ooohh." BamBam says smirking, laughing with Jaebum, mocking the other two.

Mark and Jackson's faces heat up as they realize what just happened. Yugyeom just chuckles with his boyfriend and watching the blush on the faces of his hyungs unravel.

"Yah!" Mark brings out a bit hesitantly.

They all laugh, even Jackson, who looks up at the elder. His attempt to sound strict and threating the others obviously failed but Jackson finds it extremely cute how he still tried. Mark was never the one to sounds strict and scold people. Mark is someone who's mad and expresses it through actions rather than through words. 

They all continue to eat their food and drink their drinks. When they're finished they move on to going to the tigers, Jackson still wanted to go there and as he had a mental breakdown earlier they all agreed to see the cat like animals.

After they have seen the tigers and a few other animals they make their way back to the cars, heading home. They even ate dinner at the zoo and it was all good between them again. Jinyoung was content, everyone felt happy again, acting like their loud selves. He felt drained by the overflowing emotions earlier, but it was worth it.

Before Jackson can get into the car with Jinyoung, Mark pulls his back by his wrist, preventing him from stepping into the car.

"Do you want to stay over at my place?" he asks.

Mark feels the need to be close to him and he didn't want the other to doubt himself again when he was lying in bed, the need of taking care of him being strongly present in his chest once again.

"Sure." Jackson answers with a smile.

Jackson tells Jinyoung about his plans and the other is too tired to actually listen to the other so he just agrees.

They say goodbye to the others and get into Mark's car. The ride was filled with singing along with songs from the radio and laughing at each other for singing so incredibly bad.

They get out of Mark's car and into his apartment. They take off their shoes and jackets, moving onto the living room.

Jackson has gotten to use to Mark's apartment and he felt very comfortable. He plopped down on the couch and Mark settles next to him.

Mark pulls the younger closer, grabbing his shoulder letting the other swing one of his legs over his and letting his head rest on his chest. Jackson's arm resting beside Mark's waist and he moves his hand to wrap it around his waist completely.

Mark's chest moved up and down and Jackson could hear his heartbeat, he felt like he could get used to something like this.

"It was a tiring day, wasn't it?" Mark carefully asks.

Jackson hums, worn out from all the adventures of that day.

"Don't feel guilty about the whole kissing thing okay? You couldn't do anything about it and things like this happen, it only strengthens our bond."

"I know, I just felt guilty for putting you in a situation because of my enthusiasm."

"You shouldn't feel guilty, I like your enthusiastic side. It's fine really."

Jackson sighs in content and he wraps his arms around Mark's waist a little more, wanting to be close to the other. Mark pulls Jackson a bit closer in and rests his head on Jackson's head. His heartbeat sped up a little and a warm feelings spreads over his whole body.

It feels so right.

But both of them are scared. Scared to damage their friendship.

They are afraid. Afraid of this what they have.

They both somewhere know it's more than a friendship, more than a normal friendship. Their skinship was different, their actions had a little more meaning.

But both of them don't let their minds go there just yet, not ready to admit to this feeling. They can't think about it. And so they stay in this awkward space between a friendship and a bit more.

Mark was drained in his thoughts, he couldn't let his mind go there. Meanwhile, Jackson had fallen asleep on him. When he stirs a bit in his sleep, Mark's attention gets drawn to him. He looks down at the blonde hairs on the other's face just covering his eyes.

Those eyes. Those big brown eyes that hold so much emotion. Those eyes which would probably draw him in if they want to. Those eyes which had gone red from crying earlier today. Those eyes which had this sparkle in them whenever Jackson was enthusiastic about something, that sparkle that was there before they had to do the dare.

That kiss. The fact that Mark had taken the initiative to kiss the other. Never ever in a relationship he had been like this. He had always been observing and waiting for the other to make a move. But Jackson was special, he did things to Mark he had never thought of doing.

If that was already like this now, Mark didn't know what to expect for the future. The feeling to need to take care of Jackson is so strong. The feeling is stronger than all his other feelings for the boy. Maybe there is a stronger emotion behind it, but then again, Mark couldn't make his mind go there just yet.

He feels aware for the positions his hands are in, one hand on Jackson's waist and the other somewhere in the middle of his back.

A warm tingly feeling spreads from his fingers to his arms. From his arms it spreads to his shoulders and all the way down to his toes.

It feels so right, so right.

And if it did then why was Mark not allowing his mind to go there?

He stares in front of him to the white painted wall. His eyelids start to grow heavy, but he is fighting his sleep.

He couldn't just let Jackson sleep on him, but he was comfortable and he didn't want to wake the younger. He can feel like his bed is calling him.

So he loosens his grip a bit and looks down at Jackson once again.

"Jackson?" he whispers.

Jackson's eyes flutter open and Mark looks into those dark coffee brown eyes, which sleepily look back up at him.

"Let's get to bed, come on."

Jackson obeys without saying anything. He slowly climbs off of Mark and stands up to walk upstairs. Mark followed him, dimming all the lights of the living room.

They quickly change into sleeping shirts and their sweatpants. Or more like, Jackson lends them from Mark. They smell like him and Jackson loves the smell. His mind not quite wrapping around the meaning of him liking that smell.

Jackson lays down in the bed and Mark lays next to him.

"Mark?" he softly calls.

"Yes?" Mark answers. The way he calls his name feels different this time, but he couldn't place why exactly.

"Can I please cuddle you? I felt so nice earlier." Jackson is still half asleep and Mark's warmth was so comfortable earlier. He feels the need to have that warmth again.

"Of course."

Jackson scoots closer to Mark, his head laying on Mark's chest and one of his legs tangled with Mark's. Mark's arms wrapped around Jackson's waist and the other one on his own stomach.

They quickly fall asleep. What a tiring day it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this! Let me know what you think! ♡
> 
> Comments & kudos are appreciated and motivate me a lot! ♡♡♡
> 
> ~jacksonsidiot


	13. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson helps Mark at his store and they both have confusing feelings.

At 6.15am the next morning Mark's phone rings, indicating he has to get up. Both Mark and Jackson groan hearing the loud beeping coming from the device. Mark quickly reaches over to silent the alarm, the ringing too loud and too early for this morning.

A sigh leaves Mark's lips when he finally shuts off the alarm. He feels his muscles relax instantly and Jackson and him are still laying in the same position as last night, tangled up with each other.

The best friends had approximately four and a half hours of sleep but Mark had to get up because of work. He has to be at his grocery store at 7.25am and today he really hates the fact that he opens up so early.

Though he knows he can decide his own opening and closing times, he also knows the cargo will come around 8am today. Which means he has to be at the store on time.

He looks down at Jackson who is drifting off to sleep again, he didn't want to stand up. He feels Jackson's warm hand on his chest, it moved slightly up from where it was last night. The heat that radiates from the warm sheets and Jackson laying half next to him and half on top of him made this morning incredibly difficult to get up. His heart swells a bit looking at the beautiful young boy.

"Jackson-ah, wake up." Mark softly calls while brushing Jackson's fringe away from his eyes.

The other just stirs and buries his head further in Mark's chest while clutching onto his shirt.

"I don't want to get up yet.." Jackson murmurs, voice deep and raspy from the loud waking.

Mark continues to brush Jackson's hair, "I know, me neither but my store isn't going to run itself."

"Can't you just call Jaebum or Youngjae to run the store for today?"

"They have classes today so sadly, no."

Jackson groans, finally looking up to Mark, his eyes still red from the lack of sleep.

"I just want to lay in bed a little more and cuddle, please Mark hyung, please." Jackson whined.

"I'm sorry Jacks I can't. Besides, don't you have to get to internship or school?"

"No, I actually have a day off today."

"Okay, so how about you just accompany me to work then? We can still be together and there won't be as much people today as it's Monday."

Jackson lets out a loud sigh, giving up on that he won't be able to lay in bed longer nor will be able to be close to Mark any other way today.

Jackson wants to be around Mark and not being with him makes his heart ache a little. That's why the younger always calls Mark and texts him througout the day. He wants to be near him. Jackson is a clingy person but he never has been as clingy around someone as he has been around Mark. His hyung is special to him. 

"Fine, but I'll need a lot of coffee to stay awake throughout the day." Jackson finally manages to say.

Mark smiles, "Of course, I think I will need a lot myself aswell."

Mark sits up, supporting himself on his elbows and Jackson practically fell of off him but gets up aswell. Mark looks at Jackson, who is rubbing his eyes and yawning, he thinks he looked quite adorable with his mouth a little agape as he rubs his eyes with his hands. His hair is half standing up and the other half looks okay as that was the part that Mark brushed his finger through.

He becomes aware of the fact he is staring at his best friend a little too long. He quickly adverts his gaze and gets himself up. He doesn't want the younger to notice him looking at Jackson. 

They both took a very quick shower -seperately-. When Jackson comes downstairs the coffee smell filled the air and makes its way to his nostrils, he loves the smell of coffee in the morning. He inhales the smell and walks over to Mark, who is pouring the dark liquid in two large coffee mugs.

Jackson wraps his hands around Mark's waist, back hugging the other. The elder jumps slightly of the sudden touch but he continues pouring the liquid in until both of the cups are fully filled with the hot caffeine drink.

Mark already knows what kind of day this was going to be, if Jackson was this affectionate this early in the morning then it means he'll be clingy all day. Of course Jackson is already quite clingy on a daily basis but when he is tired he is more clingy than normal.

Mark doesn't mind the clinginess of Jackson, especially not now. Every time the other touches him he feels that strong desire to take care of the other, make him happy and make him feel safe.

Jackson grabs one of the mugs and lets Mark go, his hand slightly lingering on Mark's petit waist when he moves away on his way to the dining table. Mark had set up some toast already for them to start the day off a bit easy.

The two eat in silence, both still tired. After drinking their coffee and quickly putting the dishes in the sink they head off. Both of them grab their coats and made their way to Mark's car.

During the car ride the radio plays softly, it was different from the night before where they had been singing along loudly but what didn't change was the comfort that was between the two.

Jackson taps along with beat of the music on his knees, looking out of the window. The air is still dark and the moon is still half showing as it slowly gets lighter outside but there are a lot of lights lit already from people who are up and getting ready for work or school aswell. It makes the city look gorgeous.

A little bit later than planned the two arrive at the grocery store, Jackson never actually worked with Mark. He had been to the store a few times, mostly along with BamBam and Yugyeom, but usually he was busy himself to actually come to the store of his best friend.

Mark opens the back door and the two step in. They hang up their coats and Mark gives Jackson a t-shirt to work in for the day. Mark switched on all the lights in the store so they could see what they were doing.

"Okay, so first things first, I'll open the hatches in front of the store. Meanwhile you can take out the carts with all the vegetables from the freezer. We'll have to put those in first. You should be able to find them because there are cards hung up so people know what it is. But if you don't know where something belongs just tell me okay?"

Jackson nods and gets to work. He takes out all the vegetables and fruits from the freezer. It is really cold in there and the cold illuminating from it makes Jackson shiver but it also wakes him up, which is a good thing.

Once they had put everything in the store the cargo came so they had to put all the things in that weren't enough of in the store. There were only a few products that had to be refilled and it wasn't too much work.

Mark is proud of Jackson, he works well and he had only asked a few times where to put something. Mark was really content with Jackson and he felt like the younger deserves a treat. He knows Jackson was being in a clingy mood but didn't want to show it as he was at work with Mark.

Jackson doesn't want to disturb Mark at all so he just keeps his feelings to himself. But on the inside he is boiling with the need to be hugged and cling onto Mark and just feel his touch again. He has such strong feelings towards him but he holds himself back.

Currently Jackson is packing up some dried fruits and putting them in plastic trays for Mark to put in the store later. He is standing at the metal counter with his back facing the store.

Mark creeps up behind Jackson and carefully wraps his arms around Jackson's waist engulfing him in a back hug as he puts his head on top of Jackson's shoulder. He feels Jackson's muscles tense because of the sudden touch and he sees the other hesitate to put the dried fruits in the tray for a slight second before proceeding with what he was doing.

Jackson feels warmth spreading throughout his whole body, his longing for Mark to finally touch him again being fulfilled. Jackson smiles instantly and Mark's watching Jackson's hands work. Mark's chest pressed into Jackson's back perfectly, _as if they were meant to be like this_.

Because Jackson is feeling such a warmth inside of him it caused him to blush, even the tips of his ears turning a bit red.

"You're doing really well Jackson. I'm proud of you." Mark speaks up.

Jackson blushed a little more, a wave of heat hitting him. Mark didn't speak up or gave compliments very often, only when he felt like others needed them. This time though, he didn't give them because he felt like Jackson needs it but because he wanted to show the other how much he appreciated the help.

"Thanks." He softly answers, he didn't want to stutter and for some reason he felt like that was going to happen if he spoke up louder.

"No problem, I thought you needed some affection. I know you're in that mood."

Jackson sighs, "why do you know me so well? It's not fair hyung."

Mark laughs, "I just do, but it's okay.." he trailed off.

_'Because I want to hold you closely.'_ He thought but he didn't say anything.

It is too early to even think about what would happen if he says those words. He still didn't allow his mind to go there, but he also knows that it would happen someday. He knows some day he is going to allow his mind to go there considering he also knows that he was slowly deeply falling for the younger.

He lets go of the other but still left his hand to rest on the other's waist.

"Do you want another cup of coffee?"

"Yes please I am craving it."

"Okay, I'll be right back. If anyone comes in just call me okay?"

Jackson nods and Mark disappears to the back of the store.

Not even a few seconds later the bell of the store rings, indicating someone came in. Jackson turns around to be met by BamBam and Yugyeom who just walk in hand in hand.

"Jackson hyung! I didn't expect to see you here, aren't you supposed to be at your internship or at school?" BamBam asks excitedly as he and Yugyeom walk up to the older.

"No, I'm free today and since I have nothing else to do I better be a good friend and help Mark out with his work here."

"Are you sure he's your friend?" Yugyeom questions, smirk on his face.

"Yah! I thought we decided not to talk about that around him." Jackson replies, his face heating up and his cheeks reddening. He quickly looks around if Mark is out of sight and luckily he is.

"I don't see him around though." BamBam teases.

"He is at the back making some coffee, he could hear you, you know."

"Right, right. We'll be quiet and get our stuff." BamBam replies and drags Yugyeom along to the front of the store.

Jackson, his face still red, couldn't believe his friend just said that.

A few nights before he had talked with them and Jinyoung about his feelings. He came to the conclusion that he might slightly has developed a crush for Mark. All of them were of course happy for him but Jackson on the other hand was insecure, not knowing if Mark felt the same way.

Somewhere he felt like he did, his actions had been getting closer and way more intimate over the last month but he wasn't sure if that meant anything to Mark.

According to the boys it meant a lot and they jumped to the conclusion that Mark probably had a crush on him but Jackson still wasn't sure so he kept quiet.

Last night was amazing for Jackson, he got to be close to Mark and he felt so content, so incredibly happy to be wrapped in his strong arms.

Also for him, it felt so right, _so complete_.

But insecurity takes over him for now, he was too insecure to even confess to the other boy. What if he would straight up laugh at him? Or what if he didn't like him back and was grossed out by his best friend liking him and ending up pushing him away?

He didn't want to think about it, yet it was circling in his mind every time he thought about confessing.

As if it was a cue for Mark to appear at the right moment, he wraps his arm around Jackson's waist from the side. Putting a cup of coffee right in front of him and nuzzling his face into the crook of Jackson's neck giving him a little kiss before letting go.

Jackson feels the little kiss and is surprised, a blush forming on his cheeks and mumbling a thank you but Mark is too far away to hear it.

His thoughts are wondering around Mark and confessing once again, a best friend wouldn't just kiss the other right? Does Mark have feelings for him as the others said?

Jackson sighs and turns around to see that Mark had walked up to Yugyeom and BamBam to help them look for some delicious fruits they could take home.

This was going to be a long day, but Jackson couldn't wait what else Mark was going to initiate today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo, 
> 
> I am back once again. Thank you for patiently waiting!! I hope you're all doing well.
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated, let me think what you thought of this chapter! ♡
> 
> ~jacksonsidiot 


	14. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jackskon are really close. And they figure something out.

It is near closing time at the store and Jackson's day has been pretty good. He was still tired but the day was filled with hugs and cuddles whenever Mark had time. Every time they did hug a warm and fire like feeling was erupted in the stomach of both of the boys. It was a pleasant warm feeling that spread all over their bodies. Jackson had leaned into the touch whenever Mark hugged him. His back softly pressed against Mark's chest, Marks hands settled on the other boy's waist. Jackson's own hands covering Mark's as he grabbed the hands and dragged them to his stomach to settle at a more comfortable place. This all happening when there were no costumers or when Mark had nothing else to do.

Mark was sure to give Jackson plenty of breaks so he wouldn't be too exhausted. He remembered how tired the other was when they woke up and how Jackson alsmost persuaded him to stay in bed with him -which was hard to resist- the warmth of the other boy was so comfortable against his pale skin. 

 

The two are currently making the store ready for closing, which means putting all the vegetables back into the large freezer and making sure everything was cleaned up so he didn't have to clean up a lot tomorrow morning.

When the two are finished they took their jackets and walk out of the store, Mark closing it with the key before making their way to Mark's apartment. They get into the car and again the car radio plays softly, hip hop and R&B tunes coming out of the speakers.

Looking to his side, Mark notices Jackson's dull look in his eyes. He must be really tired Mark figured. Focussing on the road again, he reaches out for Jackson's hand and rubs this thumb over the back of the other's hand. Jackson smiles slightly at his gesture and blushes a little. Mark sees this when he quickly takes this eyes of the road when they're in front of a stop sign.

Mark's mind goes to wander, isn't he just too cute? The soft blush on Jackson's cheeks suit him well and when he looks down and smiles like that he's too adorable not to be given the attention he needs. Mark almost wants to grab Jackson's cheeks and make him blush a little more. He would just want to carefully lean in and- 

"What did you think of today?" Mark asks curiously as he tries to distract his mind to wander any further. 

"I liked it, sometimes it took me a while to understand some things but I eventually got it. I liked being around you today Mark hyung, thank you for taking care of me today I really needed it. And though I might be a bit exhausted now I still loved it today."

"It's nothing really. You did really well and deserved all the affection you got today because you could put up with me well. I can sometimes be quite the asshole when it comes to business around my shop, you should ask Youngjae or Jaebum I'm sure they have loads of stories."

Jackson laughs, "I'm sure you're not that bad."

"Oh Jack, you haven't seen my worst side yet." Mark says darkly but the teasing tone in his voice makes it evident he doesn't mean anything bad by it.

"I'm sure you're not that bad hyung, really you put a lot of effort into this store and you take care of it really well. It's only normal that you are kind of protective over it." Apparently Jackson took his comment seriously, as he tries to lit up the mood. 

"I guess so, I hope you weren't annoyed by me at all." Mark says a little awkwardly. Though what he said earlier wasn't completely wrong, he doesn't want to annoy the younger in any way. 

"I wasn't hyung, I loved it today. Thank you for everything."

"It's nothing Jackson-ah."

 

They arrive at Mark's apartment not much later and they rush inside as quickly as possible. The weather outside is cold and the windy cold weather is not something both of them loved.

When they get inside they flop down on the couch next to each other.

"What do you want to eat Jackson-ah?" Mark asks, stomach grumbling after he asks the question.

"Everything is fine really, whatever you want to eat."

"I'll order pizza then, I don't want to cook today."

Jackson chuckles, "Whatever you want hyung, you choose."

Mark calls up the pizza delivering service and the orders two pizzas, one margarita and one pepperoni. Mark knows they both love both of those pizzas and that way they can share.

"They said they'll be here in 20 to 30 minutes. What do you want to do in the mean time?" Mark asks after placing the order and putting his phone down.

"Cuddle?" Jackson mutters softly, not expecting the other to hear what he just said. Now that he is seated down again he really craved Mark's touch and he misses Mark's warmth next or around him when he wasn't there.

Jackson's eyes widen as he realized what he just said was a little loud as he hears Mark chuckle a few feet away from him. Jackson turns red for the nth time that day. Mark looks at his with soft eyes and a soft smile. He can't believe what Jackson just said and he has a little hard time to admit that he wants the exact same thing. He wants to, his guts are yelling at him for not stepping towards the other yet but his brain is afraid to cross the line. Though they hugged all day and definitely cuddled before, Mark was never as aware of how much he liked it until now.

Jackson quickly looks over at Mark to see if he had heard what he just said and when he stares into Mark's eyes and sees the way he looks at him he immediately melts. Mark's gaze is soft, a twinkle in his eyes as his smile is plastered on his face.

It was at this moment Jackson could finally contently admit that he wanted something from Mark. A little more than just being his best friend. He wants to be physically and mentally more attached to him. Jackson wasn't foreign to this feeling and he knows what it is. Usually he would fight it and tell himself that this wasn't something he really wanted and that this wasn't something he should want, but the way Mark looked at him with those beautiful dark brown eyes made him melt completely.

Jackson felt some kind of weight that he didn't know he was carrying with him fall off his shoulders.

He sighed. He didn't even know if Mark felt the same way.

"I'm sorry we don't have to if you don't want to." Jackson speakd up softly, a hint of disappoint and insecurity in his voice.

"No, I want to." Mark moves to the couch and sits down next to Jackson, pulling him in by gripping him by one of his shoulders. Jackson made himself comfortable against Mark, his head resting on the other one's shoulder. His legs draped over Mark's and grabbing him by his waist with one hand, snuggling his head into Mark's chest. He lets out a content sigh as he lays comfortably.

"Gosh, you make me fall for you a little more every day." Mark softly mutters.

Right now it is Mark's turn to be all embarrassed and turn as red as a tomato. He had expected some kind of reaction from Jackson, like jumping off of him, but he didn't.

Jackson just sat there, cuddled in to Mark and his own face became red aswell, coloring his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

Mark assumed Jackson didn't hear his statement, but he was wrong. Jackson had heard it loud and clearly.

Mark holds Jackson by his shoulder and his other hand on Jackson's thighs to support him not from falling and he becomes very aware of his position right now. But unless like the last time where his mind would start panicking and would go in overthinking mode, this time it didn't. It was a change Mark wasn't sure he was ready for but he let it happen.

The pizza arrives soon and the boys ate with pleasure. They watched some Comedy Central and laughed about the cartoons that were on. They both seem to have completely forgotten about the incident from earlier on.

They are on the couch with both a pizza box in their laps. Their knees are touching and they felt each other moving whenever they laughed.

They occasionally glance at each other to see if the other wasn't worrying about the thing that happened earlier.

When Mark steals a glance at Jackson he has a piece of cheese just under his lip. Mark stares at him, contemplating what to do when Jackson turns his head.

"What's up?" he asks worriedly.

"Nothing, you just have a little piece of cheese on your face."

"Where?" Jackson begins to lick his lips to remove the piece of cheese but he doesn't catch it.

"Here let me get it for you." Mark leans in and places his hand underneath Jackson's chin gently so he can wipe the piece away with his thumb.

Their faces are almost touching and they both can't handle it well, but they don't show it.

Jackson is tempted to bring up his own hand to Mark's chin and kiss him right then and there. But he can't and he won't. Not until he knows Mark feels the same way.

Mark is looking at Jackson, whose lips are still slightly moisturized from licking his lips. Mark aswell is tempted to kiss Jackson, he feels the urge and need to close the gap between them. But then again that means he let his mind officially go there and he wasn't sure if he was ready for that yet. Maybe, he wasn't done with the overthinking yet.

He wants Jackson, he really does. He wants to kiss him and he wants to touch him whenever he can, knowing that Jackson feels the same way. But he doesn't know if Jackson feels the same way so he decides against it.

Mark quickly wipes the piece of cheese away and leans back again, pretending he didn't have the urge to kiss his best friend just seconds ago.

After they finish their pizzas it's time for Jackson to head home. He has practice and school tomorrow which made him get up early. Also he probably should go back to inform Jinyoung about everything what happened and about what he feels.

Mark walks with Jackson to his front door and watches Jackson as he puts on his shoes and his jacket. Mark looks at Jackson and he has to admit that Jackson looks good in those skinny jeans. Jackson checks if he has all his belongings and then steps towards Mark.

"Okay I have everything. Thank you so much again for today and yesterday, I really had a lot of fun. We should do this again soon, okay?"

"Yes we definitely should. Get home safely okay?"

"I will, my taxi will arrive in a few minutes. I'll text you when I reach home okay?"

"Yes please."

"Okay Mark hyung, see you later."

"See you later Jackson-ah."

They give each other a quick but needed hug before Mark opens the door for Jackson to make his way outside. Mark watches him as he walks down the stairs and walks to the sidewalk to wait for his taxi.

Mark closes the door and locks it before heading upstairs. The needs a shower and some time to think.

After a quick shower Mark lays in his bed, facing the ceiling. He has a lot of things to wrap his mind around.

What does he want? What is it what he is feeling, is it what he thinks it is?

Mark sighs, thinking about what happened. First it was the cuddle session yesterday evening which he found very appealing. He likes having Jackson on him like that, having him wrapped up in his arms. He loves looking at Jackson's features. His eyes, his nose, his cheekbones, his cute fringe and let's not forget those amazing, plump, kissable lips.

It becomes clear to Mark just now that he wants something more from Jackson. He was definitely happy with their friendship and he loved what they have. But there felt as if something was missing.

Something felt _incomplete_.

Mark let his mind go there. Up until now he refused to. He couldn't do it. He couldn't pinpoint what was happening to him but after saying those words today he did realize there was something special going on.

Mark's mind went to all the things that had happened the last couple of months.

When Jackson and him started getting close and when they started becoming more close as friends but also physically. Mark just now realizes that he has been liking Jackson and not just in a way any friend would platonically love their friends.

He wonders what it is like to call Jackson his boyfriend and what it would be like to have him next to him all the time. What it would be like to wake up next to him every day. What it would be like to kiss him. What it would be like to go on dates together. What it would be like to hug each other every second of a free day. What it would be like to make love it him.

The last thought made him feel all warm inside and now he allowed himself to think about all these things he couldn't stop thinking about it. It is dangerous for him.

He closes his eyes and his mind wonders off. What would their friends think? What would Jackson think if he confessed?

An anxious feeling took over as he thought about that. He needed to confess. If he let his mind dig any further into these fantasies he might end up getting hurt, especially if it turns out Jackson doesn't like him back.

Earlier he got a message from Jackson saying he got home safely but he never really replied to it.

Mark:  
**_I'm coming over, we need to talk. I'll be there in 20._**

Mark looked at the message he typed. He needs to do this. His feelings will take the best of him if he won't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am back once again! 
> 
> I hope all of you are streaming / loving 7 for 7 as much as I am!!!
> 
> I hope you liked thid chapter, let me know what your thoughts are!
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated ♡
> 
> ~jacksonsidiot ♡♡


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